I Have Too Much Self-Respect To Deal With A Douche Like You

I like you. You know I do. But if you’re going to keep treating me like shit, then I’m going to walk. I don’t have time for your childish mind games, and frankly, I have too much self-respect to deal with a douche like you.

I’m not a second choice. I’m a first priority.

I won’t apologize for wanting a man who treats me right, because I know what I deserve. I deserve a boyfriend who answers my texts, makes plans weeks in advance, and surprises me by showing up at my front door with pizza. I don’t want to keep dealing with your mixed signals, unanswered messages, and canceled plans. Save that shit for another girl, or even better, save us all the trouble and stay single.

Your attitude is completely inappropriate.

If I didn’t like you so much, I would’ve realized how insulting your behavior was months ago. Begging me for nudes, even though you have no desire to date me? Ignoring my text messages, but posting on social media for me to see? Acting like I’m crazy for catching feelings for you, even though you intentionally led me on? Now that I think about it, I don’t want a man like you. I don’t want someone who’s capable of making valuable women feel like they’re worthless.

I love myself more than I love you.

I’m not going to set myself up for disappointment again. I’ve done the whole crying-over-boys-who-weren’t-worth-it thing, and I’m sick of it. I love myself too much to put myself through the stress of dealing with your daily bullshit. I know I’ll be much happier alone than I would be if I let you string me along for a few more months. So this is my goodbye. You won’t be missed.

You’re not as amazing as you think.

You’re hot, you’re funny, and I’m sure you’re amazing in bed, but I can find someone else with those same exact qualities. The only difference will be that they’ll treat me like an equal with valuable thoughts and opinions instead of like a sex toy that can be thrown aside on a whim. You’re not the only guy out there, so why should I keep putting up with your crap? There’s nothing tethering me to you.

I don’t need a boyfriend that badly.

Even if I can’t find another guy to date, who cares? I’m not naive enough to think that I need a man in my life in order to feel fulfilled. I’m perfectly happy on my own. I’d rather spend my time putting extra hours in at work or catching up with old friends than wasting it by deciphering your text messages and wondering if you’ll ever agree to go out on an actual date with me.

I’m out of your league. 

Look at me. I’m hot, I’m smart, I’m talented, and I’m fun to be around. I don’t care if that comes across as cocky. I’ve spent too many years hating myself, and it got me nowhere. It’s time for me to embrace who I am, and I’m one sexy motherfucker. I’m too good to be pining over someone as awful as you.

Fuck you.

Pardon my French, but fuck you for thinking my standards are low enough to deal with a douche like you. Fuck you for expecting me to drop everything the moment you call, even though you rarely answer my text messages. But also, thank you, because your asshole attitude has made it clear that it’s time for me to move on. Now I can kiss the thought of you and me goodbye. My life will be a hell of a lot better without you, so thank you for setting me free.