Date Someone You Can Go To Disney With

I want someone who will take a five-hour plane ride with me, but won’t need to flip through channels on the tiny TV, because we’ll be able to keep each other occupied with our silly inside jokes and stealthy kisses.

I want someone who will fuck me like an animal on our Lion King sheets back in the hotel, but then act like a little kid when we run into his favorite character at the park.

I want someone who will kiss me while watching the parade and tell me that I’m prettier than any princess that passes by.

I want someone who will buy me pointless little toys from the gift shop that will probably get lost in our suitcases and never see the light of day once we get back home.

I want someone who will push me to put on sunscreen, even when I whine about how I literally just applied it, all because he wants me to keep my skin healthy so we can live a long life together, free from cancer.

I want someone who won’t mind taking twenty selfies by Cinderella’s Castle in the morning, and then twenty more in the same spot when the sun goes down and creates a romantic glow, and then twenty more at night when the fireworks are going off in the background.

I want someone who will let me plop Mickey Mouse ears onto their head, even though they secretly think they look ridiculous and wish they could rip them right off.

I want someone who will wait an hour on line for a little kid’s ride with me, even though we’re twenty years too old for it.

I want someone who will squeeze my hand on the rides I’m unreasonably scared of and make me giggle about it instead of making me feel like a baby about it.

I want someone who will tell me how sexy I look, even when I’m walking around in a fanny pack and am drenched with sweat from the sun.

I want someone who will joke around with the little kids we meet on line, but still manage to treat them with the same respect that he’d give their parents.

I want someone I can stand on an hour-long line with, without getting bored, because we’re too busy playing I Spy and Twenty Questions.

I want someone who won’t drink more than one or two beers at Epcot, because he wants to remember every moment that we spend together.

I want someone who will ask me what ride I want to go on next instead of dragging me behind him like he’s in charge.

I want someone who will look at me the same way that Mickey looks at Minnie and Donald looks at Daisy.

I want someone who will happily sing along to the songs we hear, even if it’s the hundredth time he’s heard it that day.

I want someone who will brag about our trip to anyone who will listen once we get back home, and force his friends to flip through the Disney scrapbook I made especially for him.

I want someone I can imagine coming back with ten years later, with a ring on my left hand and our children in tow.