50 Things You Have To Accept If You Want Me In Your Life

1.

I alternate between thinking I’m the hottest thing alive and the ugliest thing on the planet.

2.

I’ll assume you hate me if you don’t give me enough attention.

3.

I cry over stupid shit.

4.

I’ll tell you I’m fine when I’m not.

5.

I’ve been screwed over so many times that I’ve actually gotten used to it.

6.

I won’t act like someone I’m not to make you like me.

7.

I still like watching Disney movies and cartoons.

8.

I’m either obsessed with something or don’t give a shit about it. There is no in between.

9.

I’ll probably misinterpret things that you say and then fight with you about it.

10.

The idea of marriage terrifies me.

11.

I won’t put you before my friends.

12.

I’m going to have a hard time understanding why you want me.

13.

I don’t believe in gender stereotypes, so I expect you to help with housework and cry in front of me.

14.

I spend forever in the bathroom.

15.

I need my alone time in order to stay sane.

16.

I have baggage that I’m still dealing with.

17.

I’m not as organized as I pretend I am.

18.

I act like I hate mushy couple activities, but I secretly love them.

19.

I won’t always be in the mood for sex.

20.

My nails are forever chipped.

21.

I can be a bitch when I’m drunk.

22.

I can be a bitch when I’m sober.

23.

You’ll never be the center of my universe.

24.

I always think I’m right.

25.

Sometimes, I’ll be moody for no reason.

26.

I take way too many selfies.

27.

I could stay in bed all day. Some days, I actually will.

28.

I suck at matching the wings of my eyeliner and walking in heels.

29.

I probably can’t cook as well as your mother did.

30.

While we’re on the topic, I’m not going to do your laundry and buy your clothes like your mother did.

31.

I won’t text you if you never text me.

32.

I have trust issues.

33.

There are exes I still keep in touch with. Or at least Facebook stalk.

34.

I’m a lady, but I curse like a sailor.

35.

I spend a lot of money. I don’t care if I already have thirty lipsticks, because I’m going to buy more anyway.

36.

I make a lot of money. Don’t get upset if my paycheck is bigger than yours.

37.

I suck at communicating, so I might say the wrong thing at the wrong time.

38.

I’m not going to save you. You have to save yourself.

39.

I can re-watch the same movie twenty times without getting bored of it.

40.

You might catch me talking to myself.

41.

I don’t know if I actually believe in love.

42.

I hate wearing a bra. And pants.

43.

I’m not going to shave every single day.

44.

I love to dance, but I suck at it.

45.

I love to sing, but I suck at it.

46.

No matter how great our sex life is, I’m still going to masturbate to hot celebrities.

47.

I’m terrified of getting hurt again.

48.

I like animals more than people.

49.

I’m not perfect.

50.

I might want you, but I definitely don’t need you.