23 Of My Guy Friends Told Me The Weird Places Where They’ve Jerked Off

Where have you choked your chicken?

By

Shutterstock
Shutterstock
Shutterstock

1. Sean (25)

Oh man, I was at summer camp and I remember getting a boner when I was out with a group of girls by a lake — I had a crush on one of them, and she did thing with her hair, where she would bend over and bring her hair down and flip it back up. Her boobs popped out from her bikini. I excused myself and rubbed one out in the camp bathroom.

2. Jonathan (28)

In college, I had a solid week where all I did was take adderall. During of my my adderall highs, I decided to watch some porn on mute while my roommate was over on his bunk. I couldn’t take it anymore and I tucked my boner into my waistband and walked into the bathroom and jerked off in the shower. That was a weird week.

3. David (24)

I had my first girlfriend freshman year of high school. I would get a boner every time we’d kiss, so to appear older and more experienced, I decided to jerk off before she came over so that I wouldn’t get a boner. Well, she came early and I blew my load just as she came into my bedroom. That was awkward.

4. Kirk (24)

In church. I can’t believe I actually did that.

5. Matthew (25)

I jerked off on my roof once. I was curious. I think my neighbor saw me. He never said anything, though.

6. Alexander (26)

Well, my girlfriend jerked me off under a blanket while the family and I were watching a movie. They had to know. It’s so awkward to think about now.

7. Daniel (24)

I jerked off on my friend’s bed while my friend was asleep next to me.

8. Patrick (26)

In the airplane bathroom.

9. Philip (25)

In the backseat of my mom’s car. She went to get groceries with me and I quickly jerked off and came in my hand. She asked me to put the bags away.

10. Bradley (26)

I’m a bit of an exhibitionist… I jerked off in Central Park at night while my girlfriend was watching.

11. Franklin (26)

I was on the highway. I hit the accelerator when I came. So stupid.

12. Dylan (26)

I was camping and I jerked off in my sleeping bag. Not a smart idea.

13. Jacob (24)

Bloomingdales dressing room. Don’t ask.

14. Michael (26)

I was working on an art project alone in the art room.

15. Daniel (23)

I tried it on camera — I couldn’t get off, though. It gave me performance anxiety.

16. Joseph (26)

On your mom.

17. Ian (26)

I was traveling upstate in a Greyhound and I was like one of four people on the bus. I sat in the back, so I whipped my dick out and went to town.

18. Samuel (25)

I was drunk and had to pee, so I ran into an alleyway and took this fucking awesome piss. I got hard from how good it felt, so I jerked off, standing up, in an alleyway.

19. Aaron (25)

Bathroom stall in the science building of my college. It was fucking quiet.

20. Zachary (27)

At camp!

21. Harrison (22)

In the bathroom of a movie theater.

22. Christopher (26)

When I lived in California, I would go to the beach with some friends. One night, we were sitting around a fire and I just got hard. It came out of nowhere, so I pretended to go for a walk and thought about jerking off, which made me even harder and so I sat down by the water and just went at it.

23. Robert (25)

I tried to jerk off in my parents’ bathroom. My mom caught me. She hasn’t invited me back for dinner since. Thought Catalog Logo Mark