31 People Reveal Their One Moment Of Clarity That Will Completely Change The Way You See Life

1. This won’t be the first time your mind gets blown

Cereal is a breakfast soup.

2. You’re messing with my head right now

There is no reason the alphabet needs to be in any sort of order.

3. History, man, history is history

That at every point in history, back to the dawn of humanity, an ancestor of yours was alive.

4. What? WHAT?

You’re reading this in your accent, not the accent it was written in.

5. The moment when you realize your consciousness

I often try to remember my first moment of consciousness and I believe it was when I was 7. I remember distinctly thinking, “I am here and in control.” Everything before that was a blur of random action without thinking of the consequence and not feeling guilt. I didn’t care about making friends up until that point either. I would just wander around on my own. Weird.

6. “Battle” it out

Most sports are really just a metaphor for war.

7. Aw shit, no one’s got it together

Other people don’t have a clue, either.

8. Always listen to your mom

My parents were right about most things.

9. This is true a million times over

That teenagers are annoying as fuck, and I used to be one.

10. Two blows in one

MANKIND IS THE SINGULARITY OF NATURE!

Also, it’s called a “drawer” because you draw it out.

11. *gasp*

Farts are food ghosts.

12. Wait, is this guy serious

When I found out I could toast pop tarts. I literally did not know this for 16 years.

13. Major buzzkill

At some point in time there will be no one who remembers your existence.

14. That…logic…

It’s always in the last place you look…because you stop looking once you find it.

15. A derivative of “No one knows what they’re doing”

I’m an adult now and it turns out we are all just as confused as the kids.

16. Commonly known as “Dude, I’m so drunk”

That moment when you have gone from tipsy to wasted.

17. Well, it’s got that going

The brain named itself.

18. Especially on coffee

You think faster than you think you can think.

19. This deserves an applause

Pizza is always a pie graph of how much pizza remains.

20. I guess…. It’s got a horn – does an elevator have one?

Trains are basically huge fast horizontal elevators.

21. Gross

Ketchup is a tomato smoothie.

22. With that attitude…you’re fired

That CEOs, CTOs and other execs are just people and have zero power over me outside of the workplace. That was liberating. Now I just imagine them grocery shopping or doing other mundane things and I laugh. Some are pricks and think they are God like but I just laugh and think “sure, you can fire me. But I will find another job and you will still be an asshole but an asshole with no hold over me.”

23. No fear, no gear. No gear, no beer. No beer, no cheer

Every single day I have the realization that we’re literally all going to die. It’s crazy because hey….I’m just not going to exist at some point. Could be today although it probably won’t. Sometimes it really motivates me to have a lot of fun/ to work towards my goals. Because what the fuck do we have to lose? Life? We’re going to lose that no matter what …if this sounds bleak at all it’s not, it’s one of the most motivating things to me. There’s not much to fear.

24. Those sequoias really take a long time to explode

Trees are just really slow explosions.

25. With ricotta cheese, you jerk

Lasagna is spaghetti flavoured caked.

26. …ohhhh….

Arby’s sells Roast Beef. Roast beef = RB. They’re “RB’s”

27. But your other half

That I was once floating around in my father’s ballsack.

28. And I’m allergic

Pollen is plant cum.

29. Because it’s the best day of the week

Saturday has turd in it.

30. That Tolkien…

J.R.R. Tolkien died in 1973.

Reversed it’s 3791.

3 rings for the Elves.

7 rings for the Dwarves.

9 rings for the Men.

1 ring for the Dark Lord.

He knew. Somehow…he knew.

31. If you put it that way, that makes them even more magical

Seals are just dog mermaids.