1. Uh…

Was talking to a girl on the phone who at the time was fucked up on painkillers and started relating to me a story about how when she was 7 she pushed a girl into a pool and watched her drown. Her grandma came home, found out about it, and told her to tell the police it was an accident.

That should have been a warning sign right there.

2. Er, thanks?

“I kept some of your hair.” At 20 year high school reunion.

ಠ_ಠ

3. Okay, what the fuck

Copied from an email I received from a stalker seven years ago: “When you and her have your baby, rest assured, I’ll be the one that raises it.”

4. #Jail

When I was about 17-years-old, I worked at a cafeteria and some girls (11 and 13) where chasing me for weeks. They even waited in front of my door when I had to go to work to chase me all the way up there.

One day I was working and the cafeteria was full with people when the 11-year-old girl asked, “When can I give you a blowjob?” Everyone instantly looked at me.

Uncomfortable isnt even the right word to describe my feelings at that moment.