Harris Sockel
I like running in circles inside my apartment.
An Interview With My Body Regarding The Release Of My New eBook
Sometimes we fuck ourselves up. Sometimes we sell ourselves. Sometimes we get blown up. Sometimes we get put back together.
Why I Miss Being In The Closet
I was in that closet for ten years, and they were the best years of my life.
Thai Food Is God’s Gift To Humanity
I will never stop lathering my soul in the sweet tang of a Pad See Ew.
Obama Goes To Sleep
Obama imagined writing a poem about this moment, and publishing it on a clandestine Tumblr under a pseudonym, and telling only Bo and perhaps his publicist’s gay assistant’s assistant.
Learning To Masturbate In Colonial Williamsburg
Freedom is #hard.
I Get Advice From A Murderer
This year, like every year, on the morning after Thanksgiving, I will go to jail.
Why Do We Say Sorry?
In the supermarket yesterday, ten people said sorry by the protein.
6 Colors Your Poop Can Be, And What They Mean
Grey Poop: You are an introvert.
New York Is Ending
Take me out of this place. Bring a claw crane like in those machines at the seashore, and pick me up like I’m a stuffed seahorse.
How To Hack Writing A Personal Essay
If it’s a device, delete it.
12 Ways To Know If You’re From The Suburbs
Damn those kids with finished basements.
Please Read What I Send You
Don’t wait until the next aurora borealis and then (maybe) read, and then reply: “very thought-provoking!” Shoot me in the face.
How We Really Feel About Bedbugs
You will kiss my triceps hard and suck the blood from my upper arms and it will tickle.
God: Take Me To The Beach And Let Me Die There
I’ve always hated the word vacation. I don’t want to vacate anything, don’t want to be vacuous, and, when I took biology, vacuoles were the things I hated the most.
We Will Never Know What’s Inside Our Bodies
I feel like my body is an inside joke and I’m on the outside.
This Is What Nebraska Feels Like
I came because I wanted someone to sit me down and teach me things – to explain exactly what a sky is, what stars are, what a city is.
I Am Always Looking Forward To The Next Terrorist Attack
The next time we feel the full force of our computers’ retina displays and graphics cards. The next time we either die or turn our heads toward each other and feel it like a reflex.
I Wish I’d Hugged You Tighter
I wish I’d hugged you until we became a Pulitzer Prize-winning portrayal of hugging. Until we could be the picture next to the word “hug” in the American Heritage Dictionary.