Harris Sockel

5. Ignore them. Wonder why they don’t notice you ignoring them.

For some reason, my iPhone asks if I would like to connect to a network called “HOME” whenever I am in one of Manhattan’s most expensive neighborhoods.

Have you ever been inside an ad agency? If you haven’t, you should, if only to realize you are not as cool as you think.

Social media ninja. Certified foodie. Dancer like no one’s watching.

September 2009 and I am on the toilet in Starbucks thinking of prepositions for a lesson on prepositions.

Fine, flossy pubic hairs that, when found on a shower wall, cause one to think, “Our existence is evanescent and soft. We are flickering lights on a dock at night.”

Welcome to the ~*gReAt gAy aMeRiCaN nOvEl*~

So, you’ve followed me on Quora. Alright, you snake.

She sounds like nails on a chalkboard if Nails On A Chalkboard had a vascular system and could talk about Benghazi.

Kierkegaard was a man with well-developed deltoids like Magic Mike.

The point is: We are eternally incapable of expressing our gratitude.

We kissed in the kitchen, next to a lazy Susan and a few glass pears.