H. Alan Scott

What’s wrong with straight people? This is sad.

Besides being an asshole, you’re also supporting a thief.

Well, turns out Trump did more than just hurdle word bombs on his fellow candidates, he kept notes, and we have proof!

I approach the rope. I call Jeff over and whisper, “I’m going to try this, but you’ll catch me if I fall, right?” He says he will, which kinda gives me a semi because he’s straight and muscly and, like, it would be hot to die in his arms.

Maybe they switched from a smartphone to a flip phone.

Heroes aren’t chosen, they’re made over time.

“Have you watched The Cosby Show recently? It’s creepy,” my friend asked from the pool.

“You dress well,” my date started to say during our obligatory post-sex cuddle talk, “you hide your shape well.” Uh, thanks?

If you just read the headlines, you’d think Amtrak 188 derailed because of a mentally unstable 32-year-old gay engineer from Queens who had a need — a need for speed.

Did you know that 7.5 million people could lose their health insurance this week?

I’ve been plagued by insecurity my whole life. I was more than a chubby kid: I was fat. I weighed 250 pounds in high school and peaked at 275 in my 20s. For the better part of my first 25 years, I thought everyone had trouble seeing their genitals.

I loved it so much that I started doing it everywhere I went (which was limited, because cancer).

Then the S word drops into my mind like a nugget of shame: suicide. Am I suicidal? Is it possible to be suicidal if you have to question how suicidal you possibly are?

Thanksgiving is whatever you make it. No matter if you’re with family or a cat that will likely eat your face one day, it can still be a meaningful and fulfilling day.

Half of all states have a mandatory waiting period of 24 hours, but Missouri, South Dakota and Utah took it a step further. And sorry not sorry, if your pregnancy falls on a weekend or holiday, you’ve got to wait even longer.

Gay or straight, sexual violence against men does happen. As I came to learn, it’s the grey area of is this assault or just harmless aggressive behavior? is where the confusion begins.

Yes, I do think it’s better to be out. It’s great to tell a group of my straight friends at a party, “You know what would make this party better? Diversity!” But like, who am I or anyone else to tell someone else, “You need to be out. Trust me, it gets better”?

The moment you hear of a single person adopting a cat, you see that person lying alone in his apartment, dead, while the cat slowly eats his face. The headline reads, “Kitty Eats Single Man’s Face.”