I Will Love You Even When It Hurts

I clearly remember this day like it was just yesterday.

A lot has happened.

But I don’t regret a single thing, even the times when you broke my heart and made me cry.

You were just a dream, because I thought you were out of my league.

Around 10 or 11 years ago, I was this girl staring at her computer screen praying to God, to the stars, and to the universe that one day, maybe one day, you would notice me.

And coincidentally, our paths crossed.

The chances of your dreams coming true is slim to none, but I guess I was lucky.

After all that I have been through, you made me believe in magic again. 

Our story is far from perfect.

It started smoothly but eventually led to a bumpy road, as much as we didn’t want it to.

We share the same wavelength and a sense of humor that only we understand.

I see you everywhere I go. And I remember you in every song that I listen to.

You have become a part of my life.

I know that you want me in your life, but I feel it’s not the same way I want you in mine.

I gave you my all, but I feel like you’re just giving me half of what you can truly give.

You always have secrets and stories that do not add up or make sense.

It makes me wonder why.

I know you love me with all of your heart, but the rest of you is emotionally unavailable at times.

I constantly wonder what is running through your mind.

I just hope that you will find your time to heal, to mend the parts of you that are still broken.

I know that the walls you put up are there to protect you from another heartbreak.

Maybe these walls tell you that people always leave, but it’s a lie. 

There is so much to see, feel and give, if you only open your heart.

I am hoping and praying that these walls will disappear, that you will find your true healing. 

Not just for me, but for you.

And when that time comes, you will see me on the other side, waiting for you.

I really hope that time will come.

I want you to know that I miss the happy times that we shared, and all I can ask is, “What happened to us?”

I loved you.

I love you.

I will love you as long as you let me, even when it hurts.

Always.