10 Little Reminders For Anyone Who’s Diving Into Online Dating

Online dating can be a ton of fun, but it also can feel like a total slog. There are lots of feelings that swirl around when going through this process. Mantras can help to center and uplift you. Here are 10 of them:

1. There’s nothing wrong with online dating. It’s easy to get down on yourself about being on online dating apps. People can talk lots of crap about them and you may even have a negative tape playing in your head about the whole thing. There’s nothing wrong with them, though. It’s perfectly normal to meet someone through a dating app and it doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you or your process.

2. I’m worthy and lovable no matter my relationship status. Being single can be great, but it also can get old after awhile. You can start to get down on yourself about your relationship status (or lack thereof). When these voices come into your mind, remind yourself how worthy and lovable you really are no matter who you’re dating or not dating. Your fundamental goodness isn’t dependent on your relationship status.

3. I’m not going to settle for less. It’s so easy just settle for anyone when you’ve just about had it with online dating shenanigans. You’re lonely and bored, so it’s tempting to let any old person in. One mantra that should be yours, though, is about not settling for less than you deserve. On the contrary, you should be aiming for someone who’s a killer match for you.

4. I’m doing the best I can. At any given moment, you’re doing the best you can at that time. Maybe in the future, you could do better, but you’re truly giving it your all right now. This kind of mantra reminds you of your fundamental worth and it soothes you when you inevitably make mistakes. Keep this one in your back pocket for tough days.

5. Never a failure, only a lesson. Bad dates can be a nightmare. You may feel like you failed by going out with someone, but in reality, you just learned something new. You now have more information than you did before. It’s just the same if you make a mistake in dating. It doesn’t make you bad, you’re just learning. Keeping this mantra in the forefront of your mind will make your experiences a whole lot more positive.

6. I’m super brave. This may sound silly to say to yourself, but being vulnerable is hard work. The practice of it is incredibly brave. You’re putting yourself out there over and over again, risking rejection and incompatibility. You persist despite what could go wrong. Reminding yourself that you’re super brave will keep your confidence high and your head in the game.

7. I’m going to have to go through lots of people to get to my person. The reality of online dating is that you usually have to go through a flurry of people, maybe many flurries, before you find someone worthwhile. This may burn you out, but hang in there. There’s someone out there for you and it may not be the first 20 people, but hopefully, they’re headed towards you soon.

8. This too shall pass. Let’s face it, dating on apps can totally suck sometimes. The process can leave you frustrated, upset, and angry. Especially if there’s heartache or rejection, there’s a whole array of feelings. To get through moments like these, it’s important to tell yourself “this too shall pass.” This mantra is communicating to yourself that no pain is forever, even if it feels like it.

9. I love and accept myself completely. It’s easy to feel like there’s something fundamentally wrong with you when dating just isn’t going how you’d like. This couldn’t be further from the truth. Instead of feeling like you’re worthless, remind yourself that you love and accept yourself completely, just as you are. This will bring you greater peace and as a bonus, it’ll even make you more attractive to prospective partners.

10. I’ll take dating one day at a time. Any other approach is sure to be a disaster. Taking things day to day or even moment to moment means that you’re present with your experience in life. You’re able to make decisions that aren’t centered around wishful projections into the future. Rather, you’ll be able to be in the here and now, experiencing what’s true.