I Never Thought I’d Love You Like This

Right now, I’m looking at you.

You are curled against a pillow, head resting comfortably on my lap. Frankie Vallie is playing softly in the confines of our room. Your eyes are closed and your fingers are tapping in time with the beat.

I wonder what’s on your mind at this moment. Is it the words to the song you’re listening to? Are you imagining an entire music video in your head as the music plays?

I look at you some more. You’re probably not thinking about that. Heck, you’re probably not thinking about anything right now. Just trying to catch some sleep.

I, on the other hand, haven’t stopped thinking about you. It’s a little ridiculous, really. It’s in random, ordinary moments like this that I catch on the fact that I might just be a little insanely in love with you. I’m just studying your face, running my fingers through your hair, humming to the beat of the music, when I realize I’m falling for you in a way I never have in my life.

I’m certain it isn’t the song. Or the fact that I haven’t gotten much sleep either. It’s just… you. The very knowledge that you are here. With me.

I think about you. A lot. Then, I think about metaphors. You as my entire galaxy. You as my favorite song. You as my last slice of pizza. You as my guilty pleasure. You as the sunset and the sunrise. You as my home. I try to piece them all together into something worthy of distinction, but they can never compare to you.

You see, you are the very reason this young heart’s in commotion. You are the root cause of my demise. You are the bad idea I’m always so proud about. You make my heart sing and laugh and get all tingly inside. I feel the most free loving you. And I’m grateful for that because while the world is in complete chaos, you are there to remind me that it’s not so bad after all.

You’re the only human being who can put me in a good mood. You are my solace and haven, my comfort zone. I can laugh and cry and be furious with you. I can climb mountains and burn bridges whenever I’m with you. Truth is, you are the calm to my crazy. Being with you has made me feel like I’m walking on zero gravity.

I can’t help but wonder if I’ll ever love another human being again like this, because you have me—you have my heart. In all ways imaginable. And I know, this love has me feeling as though I’m standing at a precipice, awaiting the fall, and your brown eyes are the only thing making me want to tiptoe just a tad bit more.

I look at you again. Frankie Vallie’s playlist is still bouncing off of the four walls of our bedroom. Your fingers have stopped tapping by now. Your mouth is slightly open and I haven’t noticed before but your cheeks are slightly pigmented with a light shade of pink. I watch you and I see all the ways I fall short.

You are so beautiful, my love. I never thought I’d love you like this.