Gaby Dunn

Remember sleep? That was a good thing you used to do.

Gail says, “We’re getting to be an old boring couple.” Audrey adamantly replies, “No, we are not boring, Gail. That is one thing we are not.”

I want to be the girl with the most cake.

This show was OUR so-called life.

Deep down, you know what you really are. And you can never be with me, because I also know what you really are.

Dave Grohl was wasted, first of all and still managed to be one of the most engaging showmen I’ve ever seen.

What are we even doing? I want to ask you. But I can’t even do that because it would break this spell we’ve woven around ourselves. Nothing is going on, because nothing is going on.

I miss you when I can’t see your funny toes. I miss you when your hair is in a knit cap. I miss you when you say you miss cigarettes because I’ve never seen you smoke one and who you are depends on when I met you.

A phoner with Glenn Close where I told her she was my favorite on-screen villain. She said, “Who? Alex from ‘Fatal Attraction?'” and I said, “No, Cruella Deville.” And then she laughed for like 30 seconds and told me I “must be very young, darling.”

They have three other kids and they don’t think they can care for a special needs baby. They ask the surrogate to abort the baby.

You can see I’m sitting at this bar with my friend having a clearly private conversation, but you want to come over and try to hit on us both? Okay.

When I am waiting for your call I imagine all kinds of things you could be doing.

You can’t come into work because of why? Are you freaking out? It can’t hurt that badly. Take an Aleve.

I can appreciate the worry some people have that young girls are putting themselves through pain and suffering simply because they are ashamed of their vaginas and want to make themselves “presentable” for their male partners.

I’m going to remove the stigma for a second. I used to self-harm. I used to cut up my stomach, my arms, and my ankles. And now I don’t anymore.

I want to get to the place where we move as a pair. Where you know to put my glasses on the nightstand and I know you’ll want a Cherry Coke when you get home from work.

Why is the line drawn at naked photos or sex tapes? Everyone is born with a body and yet showing it is a fine, socially acceptable reason to ridicule, mock and devalue someone and their accomplishments.

It means defending someone, even as you slap them upside the head for being an idiot.