A Non-Directioner Can’t Believe Zayn Malik Isn’t Everyone’s Favorite

I know a bit about One Direction. Their songs are catchy and I’ve seen them on TV. Occasionally I’ll fall down a Tumblr rabbit hole of posts about them, watching interviews and music videos. The thing that always strikes me whenever I see them is that idea of “the more things change, the more they stay the same.”

The screaming fangirls are nothing new. I was one of them not too long ago. Those girls that chased the Beatles through the streets of London and Liverpool are the grandmothers of the Directioners and the Beliebers and the ‘Nsyncers. It’s a tried and true formula for making buckets of cash. So instead of being annoyed, I find the whole thing endearing. That being said, since I am not dedicated enough to call myself a true Directioner, I think I have a bit of an outsider’s eye on this whole thing — and since I was once a tween girl, I feel like I have earned a Master’s degree in Fangirl.

So how does this new breed match up to the boy bands of my appropriate era? Like, when I was young and attending my mandatory three ‘Nsync concerts per lifetime — jk, if they ever got back together I’d be there with airbrushed T-shirts of their faces on — my favorite was Lance Bass followed closely by JC Chasez (because he was sexual, lord kill me). When it came to the Backstreet Boys, who I did not care about as much, AJ was the hot one followed maybe by Brian although he never talked so that was weird.

What I’m saying is it’s possible to have varied tastes when it comes to the boys in boy bands.

But every time I see One Direction on TV, I am baffled by how much better-looking one of them is than the others. Zayn Malik is clearly miles ahead of the others in what I assume is “puberty and bad-boy-ness.” Through some research (and Chelsea Fagan’s blog) I have found this is not an unpopular opinion.

GOOD ON YOU, ZAYN MALIK!

I am having trouble figuring out how he isn’t everyone’s favorite. Like, are ya’ll blind? He is SO MUCH MORE ATTRACTIVE than the other four. I know I’m outside the fandom but this just seems obvious to the nth degree. He looks like he’s set to star in a Bollywood version of ‘The Outsiders’ and that is hot as a mother.

Especially if you’re a grown person who has just so happened to inconveniently become sucked into knowing things about One Direction, how can you not be drawn to Zayn first and foremost? I am worried about you if you do not immediately find him the prettiest. Like, actually worried. Are you okay? Do you need to talk? Can I get you some water?

I’m joking. Of course, I’m joking. You can have any favorite you want. You are wrong, but I respect your right to be so.

And you certainly don’t have to take an outsider’s opinion as Gospel. I get it. Maybe there are hot things about the others that I’m just not well-versed in them enough to see. Maybe I don’t know what I’m talking about.

Or maybe you need to get your eyesight checked. Thesis stated.