Gaby Dunn

To declare anything in entertainment to be “the new anything” is silly these days, especially when through instant streaming, it’s possible to experience pop culture anew at literally any time.

Sometimes people tell me it will help my anxiety to “be grateful.”

So even though we don’t really talk anymore and are completely over each other, I’m keeping the letters.

Put together a playlist of nice, soothing dinner party music like Billie Holiday or John Coltrane. Jazz! Like adults listen to!

Want to read a HUGE book about Abraham Lincoln? You’re in luck.

You’ve started finding Vincent D’onofrio very attractive.

But if I could get in a souped-up Delorean right now I’d travel back to 1981 to see the Minutemen and Descendents open up for Black Flag at the Cuckoo’s Nest.

I like to play Russian Roulette with my cholesterol by eating at least a thousand hard-boiled eggs dipped in salt. Fun!

When you feel someone is getting too comfortable, you purposefully call them by the wrong first name.

Ever put on your headphones and listen to this as you walk through the city and pretend you’re in a movie about your life? Nope. Me neither.

If you’ve never sung “Landslide” with one other person, late at night with the windows down driving on an empty highway, you have not lived.

I’ve heard some women are into Willem Defoe, but I can’t see it.

So based on these, what kind of person would you say I am? What do I care about the most? What worries me? What are my interests or hobbies?

Don’t talk out loud. If you do, make sure it is only to a cat or stuffed animals or something else that can not talk back.

In the Onion video, the joke is that the victim is never thought about, cared for, or even mentioned.

The point is you need someone where the relationship isn’t that deep, where the hangout is relaxed and devoid of pressure.

Like, remember when I tried that cough spray from CVS and you were all, “Nope?” Good times, right? I was so naive back then.

Love is not the antidote.