6 Simple Things I Didn’t Understand Until I Was An Adult

No, I don’t mean “life” or the fact that “sometimes you’ll date someone who wears hemp necklaces” but just simple everyday things that you one day look at and have that “ohhhhhhhh” epiphany moment about.

1. That the Disney D Wasn’t a G

I’m sorry, but that thing looks like a G. Yes, I understand cursive…and I even understood cursive for part of the time that I thought this was a G. But I could not make my brain SEE it as a D until way too late in life. Every time I had popped in a Disney movie I thought, “it’s so weird that’s a G when Disney begins with a D!” And could not see how it could possibly see it as such.

Ohhhhhhhhh.

Now I’m less confused.

2. “I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus”

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PITCmngiMfA%5DCreepiest version around.

What a charming little holiday ditty, right? I NEVER understood this song. I’d skip it on Christmas playlists and get confused when people sang it and seemed to enjoy it. Why is your mom kissing Santa Claus? Why are you not more upset about this? WHAT IS HAPPENING? Where’s your dad??

I must have known I was missing something, because I kept these thoughts all to myself until one day, at around 19, when I expressed these thoughts to my mom. I think the look she gave me was shock, laughter and then shame for me. She of course explained, “um, Santa Claus is the dad.”

Ohhhhhhh.

Still not a fan of this song but at least it makes more sense.

3. The concept behind Lucky Charms cereal

As a lifelong fan of Gorging On Sugary Cereal at Your Grandparents’ House, I was well-versed in Lucky Charms cereal and the proper eating of it (non-marshmallow pieces first, obvs) but missed the real world implications of the pieces.

It wasn’t until 2004, when I was studying abroad in Dublin, Ireland, of all places, that I realized the true meaning of Lucky Charms. I was sitting on the top bunk of a bunk bed after sleeping over with my boyfriend and looked at a box of Lucky Charms cereal and said, out loud, “oh my god, I just got it!” I explained I just realized all the pieces in Lucky Charms cereal, were, in fact, lucky charms!

Ohhhhhhhh.

The fact that he stayed with me and then married me, says either this is a reasonable thing for a 20-year-old to suddenly realize or, he’s very understanding.

4. Angel food cake vs. Devil’s food cake

This one I just realized a few weeks ago. Was I eating either cake? No. I believe I was trying to find that rainbow cake recipe I saw once and what website was that on and then I was thinking about cakes and I thought:

Ohhhhhhhhhh.

Angel food cake is white…

Devil’s food cake is black…

Light and dark/black and white/angel and devil.

5. The term “anchor” for newscaster

I was watching Anchorman 2. And this didn’t occur to me.

I was watching TV news and never thought about it.

An anchor – as a term for a newscaster – is to imply they’re the ANCHOR. Like a ship’s anchor.

Ohhhhhhhhhh.

This one hurt my pride the most when I had that Ohhhh moment. How could I have been so blind?

6. “45 on” Meant a Record and Not Sunscreen in “Soak Up the Sun”

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KIYiGA_rIls%5DIn 2002, when “Soak Up the Sun” was released, I was a senior in high school. Another thing you should know is I grew up in a predominantly Italian neighborhood in Upstate NY and as a fair skinned, mostly Irish girl I was always wearing at least SPF 50 while my friends were slathering on tanning oil.

So at the end of “Soak Up the Sun” when she says she’s got her “45 on” I took that to mean SPF 45 and thought, “good for you, Sheryl!”

Ohhhhhhhhhh.

Maybe last year I discovered, by mentioning this joy I felt to my husband, that she meant a 45 like a record. (Obviously since the full lyric is “got my 45 on so I can rock on” this makes a ton of sense but I interpreted this as “got my sunscreen on so I can rock on in the sun.”

I can’t wait to add to this growing list of Ohhhhhhs when I get more.