Erin Mallory Long

Every Monday we all become Garfield and “hate Mondays” so to get you through, here are 25 things more terrible than Mondays.

3. Sit facing where most people will be entering the restaurant.

3. To inject some female characters in the Star Wars universe, they make all the Stormtroopers female. Interesting. Too bad Star Wars VII probably won’t be as diverse, female-wise.

I’m not sure we can actually CALL this singing. Legally.

6. You never understood how some people were home from school before 6pm.

3. Remember when Angelina Jolie wore Billy Bob Thornton’s BLOOD in a VIAL around her neck like a vampire? #NeverForget

MEN AND WOMEN CAN’T BE FRIENDS.

Even before Glee popularized this Journey tune it was a staple of my bar experiences in my early 20’s.

On the surface, sure, the main character of the jaunty teen comedy Saved by the Bell would have nothing in common with the fierce main character of the political drama House of Cards. But that’s where you’re wrong! They’re the same!

5. Lots of people have butts that you can see almost all of

1. Like a freezer without burritos

7. Hungover face

Look, I LOVE Chandler and Joey’s friendship and I love Monica and Ross’ relationship and duh, I love Phoebe and Joey’s friendship. But I’m here to tell you, I also love the weirder pairings on Friends.

No, I don’t mean “life” or the fact that “sometimes you’ll date someone who wears hemp necklaces” but just simple everyday things that you one day look at and have that “ohhhhhhhh” epiphany moment about.

1. They hasn’t answered my text but I don’t want to seem annoying, what do I do?

“WE WERE ON A BREAK!”

Edna Krabappel

I’m probably never going to be able to share something I wrote or appeared in or on without saying, “here I am being a goofball!” but at least hopefully, because I’ve discussed this publicly now, one day I can at least say, “hey this is a super cool thing I was able to do and I’m excited about that.”