Eric Redding

I once talked a dude I had never met out of suicide via a phone call. After what happened next, I regret it.

“Get called for an unconscious drunk at a bar. Get her out to the ambulance, she shouts ‘I’M HAVING A SEIZURE’ and starts waving her arms around. I tell her ‘people who have seizures generally don’t announce it first.’ Her response? ‘You’re being very judgmental, I was getting ready in case I had a seizure.'”

These are nightmare fuel.

“I got her a very pretty glass Christmas tree that had some candy in it. She gave me a book, a smut novel … that had her mom’s name written on the inside cover, but poorly scribbled out.”

“There were notes about me. What hours/days I worked, notes about my cats, and updated notes that they were no longer there and the date, my fucking credit card number!”

At the office after hours, alone. Phone rang, picked it up to a woman frantically screaming “You gotta help me!” *click*

“I ran outside following the dog barking and saw him dragging my mom by her hair, I remember trying to be steady like I had been taught but I just fired over and over again.”

There’s a groan and a laugh in every one.

I’m going to be frank, these are some of the most insane stories I have ever heard in my entire life. They are crazier and, in a very few cases, sadder than anything you could make up. They are also utterly fascinating.

“On 12/30 at 2:04 am I caught something VERY weird. To set up: This night I was sleeping in my bed – my 3 year old was with me that night as he is scared of the dark. It was just the two of us in the whole house. The next night I decided to go through and delete my recordings and saw this particular record.”

Above the hay was a misty form which had the very clear shape of a woman “floating” above the hay stack. She had on a milk-maid type dress and her head was cocked to the side and her eyes were wide open. My first thought I remember very distinctly and it was “I am seeing something horrible that I shouldn’t be seeing.”

Suddenly, the guy comes completely to, rips out his tube, grabs my sister’s hand, and lets out this breathy little scream, “Don’t let me die, I’m going to hell. Please don’t let me die!”

When my brother and I were little, we had two clown dolls that we named Greeder and Seeder.

Evil kids say the damndest things.

Who needs to sleep, anyway?

Proceed with caution. These are no joke.

On many occasions over the next few days Brad Pitt emptied out my trash cans, got me clean linens and even lunch. He could not have been more down to earth or nicer.

Trans-esophageal echo Cardiograph. FIRST TIME. “He’s waking up, hold him, hold him..” I pulled the instrument out of my throat on instinct, blood everywhere.