Emma Golden

And I would walk 500 miles…

When you’re a girl who has a foul mouth and mind that’s usually found in or around gutters, making close friends can be trying…

We all know better but, at the end of the day, none of us GAF.

Yes, we know our hair is fun and different and wild, but it can also be a pain. Before you decide to court a curly-haired lady, know what to expect with these tips.

Because you’ve often wondered how much easier life would be if you and her could just fall in love and be together forever. But, instead, you keep crying over guys.

“Being 27 is parallel to being a newly post-pubescent teenager; so many feels, so many conflicting emotions, so much self-inflicted pressure. At some point, it’s just easier to pray you make it to 30 in one piece and resolve to figure it out from there…”

I’m gonna go out. No, I’m not. I should, though. Ugh, but I don’t want to.

If you’re guilty of any of these, you can pretty much rest assured it’s why she never granted access.

Some are no-brainers, others will surprise you.

You’re not single. You’re just dating your parents exclusively right now.

Every meal, every outfit, every emotion – nothing is off-limits when it comes to being an oversharer.

We judge your shoes. We judge your hair. We judge your job. But did you know we also judge your drink order when we’re out at a bar or restaurant?

Girls are insane. We know it. They know it. Everyone knows it. The majority of us need a lot of reassurance, can be extremely emotional, and are obsessed with comparing what we’ve eaten today.

Just when you think you’ve reached the bottom of her craziness, there’s a crazy underground garage…

When did “dating” become “hanging out”? The concept has more or less ruined the last remaining crumbs of true courtship for us singletons. But pull these moves next time someone tries to “hang,” and you’ll come out on top.

For most of my life and definitely the majority of my young adulthood, I’ve struggled with being an in-betweener; You know – not super thin, but not “plus size” either. Not exactly “skinny,” but definitely not outright “chubby”…

Some days, you’ll be super positive about it. Other days, you can’t imagine how the hell anyone actually gets (and stays) together.

Sam Smith. Sam Smith’s voice. Sam Smith’s voice covering Tracy Chapman. You’re welcome.