15 Thoughts Everyone Has While Browsing Facebook

1. “Who is this?!”

2. “Wow, major drama is going down on the status of that girl I worked with 4 years ago. Bang bang, shots fired. I hope for her sake she doesn’t have family on here.”

3. “Is it really necessary to change your profile picture every week?! Like, who are you doing this for?! Did you think we’d forgotten what you looked like?”

4. “My profile has never looked more dead. Maybe I’ll frape myself to liven it up a bit.”

5. “No. Fraping myself would be a new low. Let’s do this properly. What status can I write that will be universally accepted by my friends, parents, distant relatives, colleagues and all those people I met one time at a party?”

6. “WHY DOES FACEBOOK WANT TO KNOW WHO MY FAVORITE ATHLETES ARE!? Look at me. Does it look like I can name more than two athletes?”

7. “Connect Twitter with Facebook?! Over my dead body. That is the stuff of nightmares.”

8. “Seven of your friends like ‘That Awkward Moment When You Sneeze In Public.’ Well, seven of my friends clearly don’t know the definition of awkward.

9. “How many albums of potty-training your kid is the acceptable amount? None. Always none.”

10. “’If you can’t handle me at my best, then you don’t deser-‘ OH HELL NO. *delete friend*”

11. “And my cousin’s dog has a profile because?”

12. “Shout out to my mom and distant aunt who I can always count on to like whatever I post on here.”

13. “WHY WOULD MY FRIEND LIKE THIS PICTURE OF ME FROM 2009?! ARE THEY TRYING TO DESTROY MY REP?!”

14. “What is this follow function? What the hell, I have 3 followers? Who are these people? What do they want from me? When did this even happen?”

15. “Ugh. Give me strength. What’s going down on Twitter?”