15 Little Rules Every Woman Should Have For Herself

1. Always have go to tricks for getting out of a funk.

For some women the classic “pour yourself a drink, put on some lipstick, and pull yourself together” work wonders. For others its a hot shower and blasting music. Find something that works for you and use it whenever you’re having an “ugly” day and feeling blah.

2. Take a self defense class at some point.

In a perfect world women wouldn’t have to learn to defend themselves from sickos, but the world isn’t perfect. You never know when this class may come in handy. You don’t need to know enough to kill someone, just how to hurt them enough that you can run away.

3. If you think you can’t dance, fake it and laugh a lot.

Most place where there’s dancing are too crowded to really see what someone else is doing anyway. Plus, most people are preoccupied with how they look. Spell out your name with your hips in sync with the music and just look like you’re having fun. People will assume you are.

4. Never get lipstick on your teeth.

When you finish applying, stick a finger in your mouth and close your lips around it. Pull it out slowly. Any lipstick that would have gotten on your teeth is now on your finger.

5. Walk around in heels when you’re on the phone.

If you’re doing a phone interview for a new job or talking to a new guy you’re nervous about, put on some heels and walk around your apartment. You’ll feel more confident and the conversation will go better.

6. Whenever you’re talking to a salesperson ask, “What are your favorite products?”

I never get tired of doing this at Sephora and I’ve fallen in love with some of my favorite products because of it. Sales people are at their stores all day, they try everything. If you just say “I need a moisturizer from x brand” they’ll be forced to sell you on something that fits the bill, but it may not be the best product out there. This questions opens it up to let them talk about whatever they’re really excited about.

7. Never detail your sexual history to a guy you’re serious about.

It sucks that a man you think so highly of would think less of you if you admitted your number or say — the fact that you’ve had a one night stand — but these things can be deeply ingrained in a guy’s mind. It’s best to gloss over it and move on. Chances are he really doesn’t want to know anyway.

8. Just because a guy pays for dinner doesn’t mean you owe him sex.

You never owe a guy sex for any reason. Not if he bought you dinner. Not if it’s the third date and you still haven’t done it. Not if you’ve already had sex before but you don’t want to again. Nope. Sex is for when you both want to, only. Of course, don’t lead a guy on either, that’s just rude.

9. Don’t treat your boyfriend like shit.

It’s kind of a weird “thing” where some girls are mean to their boyfriend or make them their servant lite because it means you must be hot enough that he’ll stick around through it. That’s tacky. Do you really want to be with someone who puts up with that? Treat your dude like he is a stud, and demand the same in return.

10. Never make plans after 8pm with a new guy unless you’re just looking for sex.

Same goes for hanging out at someone’s place together as a “first date.” Don’t be coy, it’s not a date, it’s an invitation for sex. And that’s fine IF that’s what you want.

11. In some situations people will assume you’re clueless, try to surprise them.

I’m talking about “boy things” like buying a car or taking yours to the shop. It’s very intimidating. Read as much as you can about what’s wrong with your car or about what you need to know about buying a car. Don’t fill silences with small talk, leave it silent and make the salesperson work to fill it. Don’t feel selfish about haggling, if it helps pretend you are trying to get a deal for your little brother or sister instead of yourself. My mama bear always comes out when I do that.

12. Find healthy activities you love.

Staying healthy and in shape for the rest of your life will be way easier if you find that you genuinely love to cook healthy stir-frys or Italian food. Take up tennis, or swimming. Do whatever you need to do to make this stuff something you enjoy, not something that feels like thankless work. It will become a seamless part of your life if you enjoy it. Just keep trying new things until something sticks.

13. Don’t give a guy too many chances.

If he does something really bad, a charming guy can talk his way out of it. Try to look at it objectively. Is it a situation that’s likely to occur again? If this was your best friend and her boyfriend, what would you advise?

14. Always be in the middle of a book.

Keep it in your purse — that’s why we lug around such big bags! This is a great way to keep reading into adulthood because we’re always in situations where we are waiting — at the doctor’s office, in line at the store, when you get to a restaurant before your friend. This is when you can pull out your book instead of checking your email on your smartphone. They’re also a much better way to fall asleep than your TV’s sleep timer.

15. Don’t count yourself out.

Don’t be the kind of woman that says “I could never do that” or “I’m just happy with my quiet life.” The universe is so much bigger than us, it’s only possible to know a small part so we may as well know as much of that part as we can. Maybe this means traveling for you, maybe it means volunteering and learning about the human condition, maybe it means pursuing advanced studies, or rock-climbing. Whatever is inside you that seems a little bit scary, that is the thing you should do.