20 Things Every Seasoned Runner Knows (That Every New Runner Learns The Hard Way)

1. Waking up early enough to run before work is a 1-2 punch to beat the heat and trick yourself into working out before you realize what’s going on.

2. There’s only one way to find out if you’re the kind of person who likes running races: sign up for one.

3. Even the smallest pebble can ripple a whole pond. Even the smallest blister can ruin your whole run.

4. Like, yeah, maybe colorful shoes don’t actually make you faster — but they sure as hell feel like they do.

5. You’re only going to want to talk about running. Better find runner friends before everyone else hates you.

6. Runger is real. Runger is vicious. Sometimes the only way to survive is to give in.

7. Like, really. If you’re doing this to be model thin, you’re never going to get there. Doing this for muscles, however, is a nice lil’ side effect.

8. Nobody else cares how fast or slow you’re going.

9. But if someone else is tailing you, it is well within your right to speed up and smoke their ass.

10. Some tan lines are harder to get rid of than others. Especially shorts and sock tans.

11. Sometimes all it takes is the right song to give you a second wind.

12. Even if you’ve been running for years, every once in a while there’s just going to be a run that blows.

13. If you take a few weeks or even a few months off, getting back in the groove of things is going to feel impossible.

14. How to survive running in winter.

15. Where all the public restrooms are in any given vicinity.

16. How to deal with black toenails, muscle cramps, shin splints, thigh chafe, and everything else in between.

17. The strangely sweet victory of a well-timed, especially gross snot rocket.

18. The magic union that is finding the right shoe for you — and the utter betrayal you feel when the manufacturer either discontinues it or changes its design.

19. How strangely, the fitter you get, the harder it is to find jeans that fit right.

20. And often, the hardest part of a run is lacing up and getting out of the door. Once you have your headphones in and your music on, everything else falls into place.