I’m Homesick For Your Heart

It was through weepy eyes I said goodbye.

My throat was tight and I knew opening my mouth would open the gates for the tears to flow as well.

I stared at your face, trying to memorize every detail.
I can’t ever get enough of looking at you.
I cried.

I cried because I am human and my heart is too big, too full of feeling sometimes.

This happens every time.

Sometimes I simply cannot control everything I feel and the only way I can let it out is through my tears.

I cried and we said goodbye, my fingertips slipping slowly from the shoulders that held me close just hours before as we napped on your couch.

I looked back through hazy eyes at your face and thought I was going to lose it.

But I kept putting one foot in front of the other and I walked through the gate. I walked through to the waiting room. I walked onto the plane.

And, with every step I felt my body relax.

Waves of tears were replaced by waves of excitement at yet another adventure.

The Wanderess in me began to stir.

She began to regain her strength, gain her bearings, and she took control.

I felt excited at the uncertainty of what was to come.
But most of all, I felt an immense sense of gratitude for the man who loves me enough to let her wake up.

For the man who loves me enough to urge me to leave, step by step with a knot in my throat and tears streaming down my cheeks, onto the next adventure.

For the man who knows that, while it hurts to see me so emotional, I need to allow the Wanderess to take control every once in a while.

For the man who loves me enough to love me even when I leave him waiting for my return.

Thank you for reminding me that I am just as whole without you as I am with you.

Or, rather, thank you for letting me remind myself of this and looking on with nothing but support.