Several Haikus About Cheap Beer

Rolling Rock

I.
Rolling Rock — you minx
Stop being so refreshing
I’ve had six of you

II.
Green man of my life
Oh my! So good going down
Mom will not like you

III.
Like water and beer
Had a beautiful baby
Now I have to pee

IV.
Latrobe Brewing Co.
You are from Pennsylvania
Like Andy Warhol

V.
I’m already drunk
You want to buy me something?
A Rolling Rock, please.

Pabst Blue Ribbon

I.
The Red, White and Blue
It’s the American way
All hipsters unite

II.
I love indie rock
The Power Born Rebellion
Known as, PBR

III.
1893
America finds its best
With a blue ribbon

IV.
It’s on the label
All “nature’s choicest products”
(That includes water)

V.
Every man I date
Flannel, beard and PBR
Guess I have a type

Miller High Life

I.
Start with man-mosas
Champagne of beers and orange
Got any takers?

II.
That Miller High Life
As much bubbles as the French
Less ABV, though

III.
Big class but no cash?
Don’t worry about it, friend
Take back the high life

IV.
Three bucks a bottle
I’ve never paid more for it
Never will, either

V.
Waiter is staring
Oh, I don’t know what I want
“Your cheapest brew, sir”