Dylan Joffe

In the dream, we have just met and simultaneously known each other for years

It’s three in the morning and I should have left hours ago. We are standing outside and it is noticeably cold. It is the end of September, the first night when summer officially becomes fall, and I am dressed like it’s still July.

I found myself falling into him rather than in love with him.

You see, I never thought about us growing old together, but sometimes I imagined us interacting when we were older.

The hashtag #SignsYoSonIsGay became very popular again. People tweeted all types of things. Some were horrible and hateful, like: “#SignsYoSonIsGay he’s a faggot.” Some are seemingly innocent, like: “#SignsYoSonIsGay he is gettin offended by this trending topic.”

I look at my phone again. I pick it up with both hands. You see, my phone is fragile now; it carries precious cargo — your “like” and my status.

I wake up late every day. No matter what I do, I wake up late. My snooze button is my best friend until I sit straight up and realize that 20 minutes ago was the latest I could possibly sleep and still make it to work on time.

His friend comes up to me and says, “You know we thought [ex-boyfriend] was dating a boy when you two went Facebook official. It was really funny… for us.”

Make sure this friend is whatever gender you are attracted to so there’s lots of room for sexual tension.

Latrobe Brewing Co.
You are from Pennsylvania
Like Andy Warhol

I call him two days later, tipsy enough to admit that I miss his voice, and he doesn’t answer. He checks in to a pizza place in Adams Morgan on foursquare.