You Matter, So Treat Yourself Like It

Many people suffer daily from anxiety, depression, stress, and anger as well as from feelings of guilt, shame and inadequacy. The major cause of these feelings is a lack of loving action in their own behalf, a lack of personal responsibility for their own feelings and wellbeing.

Loving actions fall into two categories: Loving actions for yourself and loving actions in relationship to others.

Loving Actions for Yourself

Loving actions for yourself are those actions that attend to your own needs. When you take loving action in your own behalf, you are letting yourself know that you matter, you are important, you count. When you fail to take loving action, you give yourself the message that you are not important, which leads to feelings of depression and inadequacy.

Loving actions for yourself might include:

1. Eating nutritious foods, avoiding junk food and sugar, eating when hungry and stopping when full.

2. Getting enough exercise.

3. Keeping your work and home environments clean and organized.

4. Getting enough sleep.

5. Creating a balance between work and play. Making sure you have time to get your work done, as well as time to do nothing, reflect, learn, play and create.

6. Creating a good support system of people who love and care about you.

7. Being organized with your time, getting places on time, paying bills on time, and so on.

8. Choosing to be compassionate with yourself rather than judgmental toward yourself.

9. Creating a balance between time for yourself and time with others.

10. Making sure you are physically safe by wearing a seat belt in a car, a helmet on a motorcycle, scooter, or bike, goggles when necessary, and so on.

Loving Actions in Relationship to Others

Loving actions in relationship to others might include:

1. Being kind and compassionate toward others without compromising your own integrity or ignoring your own needs and feelings.

2. Saying no when you mean no and yes when you mean yes, rather than giving yourself up and going along with something you don’t want to do, or automatically resisting what another wants from you.

3. Taking care of your own needs instead of trying to change and control others. Accepting your lack of control over others and either accepting them as they are or not being around them.

4. Speaking your truth about what is acceptable to you and what is unacceptable and then taking action for yourself based on your truth.

5. Taking personal responsibility for your own feelings and needs, instead of being a victim and making others responsible for your feelings and needs.

6. Creating a balance between giving and receiving, rather than a one-way street with another person.

7. Letting go of believing that you are responsible for other’s feelings.