Dear Anxiety

Stop being such a bitch.

You’re lying to me. Why do you keep feeding me with all these dark thoughts that just suck out the life of me? Do you really like seeing me feel like I’m not good enough or that I’m worthless? What is it to you?

Why do you keep making me dwell on my past, the very past that I tried so hard to get past? Why do you keep convincing me that everyone is just going to destroy me? Why do you keep putting these voices in my head that nobody will love me the way that I deserve? Why do you keep draining the energy out of me and putting me in a very dark, hopeless place?

This letter is to you, because you are my worst enemy. You are turning me against myself and I’ve had enough.

I am stronger than you think, stronger than you’ll ever believe me to be. Because of everything I went through, I became someone I have always wanted me to be. I do not need a reminder of my past from you, twisting every dark corner of my mind by memories I tried to hard to forget. You will not control me, because none of this is real. You are using me to gain power, by putting all these dark and negative thoughts into my mind to make me believe I’m not capable of doing anything in this life. But that’s where you’re wrong; I have been through so much darkness in my past and I know I am capable of destroying these thoughts. You are not real, you are just memories of my past camouflaged by my fears and insecurities. Without me, you are nothing. I control you, not the other way around.

I am brave, and I am wise. No dark thought will ever make me believe less of what I am. I went through hell with everything I’ve been through so if you honestly think that a multiple dark thoughts would ever make me crumble down, then maybe you don’t know me after all.

I know who I am and who I am not. I am not a reflection of those that cannot love me. I am not yours to control. I am not my mistakes and bad decisions in my past. I am not equivalent to my failed relationships and to every heartbreak I have ever endured in my past. I am not unlovable. I am not unworthy. I am not nor will I ever be weak.

I am a child of God and no amount of anxiety and darkness will ever consume me enough to forget who I really am.