To The Girls Who Have Loved Someone Who Didn’t Deserve Them

I salute you because contrary to what people tell you, you are not stupid. You are never dumb for falling for that guy. You are actually brave and I admired that bravery you had when you decided to fall for them.

You are brave. Brave.

I salute you for your very act of loving. For having the power to love the people who can’t love you the way you deserve to be loved. I salute you because even when it hurts like hell, you still choose to stay. That even though you have all the reason to walk away, you still prefer them and you don’t even think twice.

I salute you for your belief that people can change. That maybe one day, he would realize just how important you are. That one morning, he will see all your efforts and appreciate it. That a time will come and he will take into consideration all the emotions you invested in him. That one special moment, he would just come into his senses and will realize just how amazing you are and how good you have been to him and will decide to reciprocate the love you deserve.

I salute you for entrusting them with your whole heart and soul even when they refuse to accept it. I salute you for allowing them into your life even when they can’t open the door for you. I salute you for letting them hold your hand, knowing they will let go after. I salute you for handing them your hours and your attention even when they only refer to you when they have nothing better to do.

I salute you for your firmness. For this strong lady facade you put up, that every time he comes, you accept him with open heart and every time he goes you let him and wait patiently for that day he gets bored and thought of you once more.

I salute you for your audacity to stay. To stay with someone who will only consider you as their past time. To stay with someone who can only love you less, to stay with someone who will never choose you. Someone who might be interested today and then apathetic tomorrow. Someone who loves the girl before you and the girl after you, but never you. Someone who can only take you to chill places and not on a proper dinner date. Someone who can only send you home and not take you home. Someone who can only text you in the middle of the night and not in the morning. Someone who even when you turn the world upside down will never have the guts to see your magic.

I salute you for that portion in your heart that still cares, hopes and expects. Cares for him, enough to let him break your heart over and over again, letting him into your heart knowing he wouldn’t stay long. That space that still holds that tiny ray of hope for the possibility of “us” even when he only sees an individual that’s only good for the moment. That fragment in your heart that still expects that he might change his mind and will decide to be with you or at least try to make it work.

I salute you for giving so much MORE than what you are receiving.

I salute you because you’ve been used and yet you choose to forgive. You’ve been hurt yet you choose to heal. You’ve been taken for granted yet you choose to exert effort beyond comprehension.

I salute you because no matter how many hurtful words people have thrown at you because you always love the wrong people, yet you still listened, accepted and offered your big heart. I salute you because no matter how wounded your soul is, no matter how damaged your heart is, you always choose LOVE. You always choose to learn, forget and move forward. You still choose to accept the pain, overcome it and let go.

I salute you because you have the courage to love people who can’t love you back. Because you have this tremendous hope that maybe they have some kind of remaining ounce of strength to love you back. Because despite of all the signs and tales that you two will never work out, you still saw the few reasons why it can.

I salute you because despite the facts and the knowledge that you deserve SO MUCH better than what you are getting, you are still settling for this tiny amount that he can give. Only because you love them. Because you love, even when they can’t and won’t. That right there is probably the most spectacular, brave and painful thing ever.

You deserve better, you know that. Yet you can’t help yourself, you only love and there’s nothing wrong with loving. You love and that’s admirable.

I salute you because after all, loving is never easy. Loving can be scary. Loving can be tortuous. Loving can be distasteful. But you still choose to see love for all its fascinating attributes. You still choose to love, and not just love the easy people, or the people who can give you the world. You didn’t love the right people, you loved all the wrong ones and that reflects nothing but total bravery.

Keep loving and I do hope the next person you choose is the right one.

Dian Tinio is the author of Catastrophes, available here.