50 Funny And Uplifting Quotes For Your Inner Holiday Cheermeister

1. “Christmas is not as much about opening our presents as opening our hearts.” – Janice Maeditere

2. “Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas.” – Johnny Carson

3. “The holiest of holidays are those kept by ourselves in silence and apart; The secret anniversaries of the heart.” – Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

4. “As we struggle with shopping lists and invitations, compounded by December’s bad weather, it is good to be reminded that there are people in our lives who are worth this aggravation, and people to whom we are worth the same.” – Donald E. Westlake

5. “At Christmas, tea is compulsory. Relatives are optional.” – Robert Godden

6. “Although it is pleasant to think about poison at any season, there is something special about Christmas, and I found myself grinning.” – Alan Bradley

7. “It is the apathetic person that sees the cause while the charitable person sees the need.” – Shannon L. Alder

8. “Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice.” – Dave Barry

9. “The proper behavior all through the holiday season is to be drunk. This drunkenness culminates on New Year’s Eve, when you get so drunk you kiss the person you’re married to.” – P. J. O’Rourke

10. “Christmas is the season when you buy this year’s gifts with next year’s money.” – Author Unknown

11. “Love the giver more than the gift.” – Brigham Young

12. “Christmas it seems to me is a necessary festival; we require a season when we can regret all the flaws in our human relationships: it is the feast of failure, sad but consoling.” – Graham Greene

13. “Our hearts grow tender with childhood memories and love of kindred, and we are better throughout the year for having, in spirit, become a child again at Christmas-time.” – Laura Ingalls Wilder

14. “This is the message of Christmas:  We are never alone.” – Taylor Caldwell

15. “To many people holidays are not voyages of discovery, but a ritual of reassurance.” – Philip Andrew Adams

16. “One of the most glorious messes in the world is the mess created in the living room on Christmas day.  Don’t clean it up too quickly.” – Andy Rooney

17. “Christmas is a time when you get homesick – even when you’re home.” – Carol Nelson

18. “I will honor Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all the year.” – Charles Dickens

19. “When we were children we were grateful to those who filled our stockings at Christmas time.  Why are we not grateful to God for filling our stockings with legs?” – G.K. Chesterton

20. “Christmas, children, is not a date. It is a state of mind.” – Mary Ellen Chase

21. “For Christmas this year, try giving less. Start with less attitude. There’s more than enough of that in the world as it is – and people will usually just give it back anyway!” – Anne Bristow

22. “I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph.” – Shirley Temple

23. “Two things upon this changing earth can neither change nor end; the splendor of Christ’s humble birth, the love of friend for friend.” – Author Unknown

24. “Unless we make Christmas an occasion to share our blessings, all the snow in Alaska won’t make it ‘white’.” – Bing Crosby

25. “Happy, happy Christmas, that can win us back to the delusions of our childhood days, recall to the old man the pleasures of his youth, and transport the traveler back to his own fireside and quiet home!” – Charles Dickens

26. “He who has not Christmas in his heart will never find it under a tree.” – Roy L. Smith

27. “Christmas is the day that holds all time together.” – Alexander Smith

28. “A lovely thing about Christmas is that it’s compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together.” – Garrison Keillor

29. “A Christmas candle is a lovely thing; It makes no noise at all, But softly gives itself away.” – Eva Logue

30. “May Peace be your gift at Christmas and your blessing all year through!” – Author Unknown

31. “Christmas is a time to expand our giving encompassing the
friendless and needy … near and far. Christmas is sharing.” – Patricia Clafford

32. “I wish we could put up some of the Christmas spirit in jars and open a jar of it every month.” – Harlan Miller

33. “People can’t concentrate properly on blowing other people to pieces properly if their minds are poisoned by thoughts suitable to the twenty-fifth of December.” – Ogden Nash

34. “I bought my brother some gift-wrap for Christmas. I took it to the Gift Wrap department and told them to wrap it, but in a different print so he would know when to stop unwrapping.” – Steven Wright

35. “A good holiday is one spent among people whose notions of time are vaguer than yours.” – John B. Priestly

36. “At Christmas play and make good cheer, for Christmas comes but once a year.” – Thomas Tusser

37. “I have had a holiday, and I’d like to take it up professionally.” – Kylie Minogue

38. “I like to compare the holiday season with the way a child listens to a favorite story. The pleasure is in the familiar way the story begins, the anticipation of familiar turns it takes, the familiar moments of suspense, and the familiar climax and ending.” – Fred Rogers

39. “Sharing the holiday with other people, and feeling that you’re giving of yourself, gets you past all the commercialism.” – Caroline Kennedy

40. “I just feel – specifically about that holiday – why is it just one day that you have to tell the person that you love how much you love them? I think that is a little silly. I am much more the girl that likes the spontaneous.” – Michelle Trachtenberg

41.”‘Elf’ has become this big holiday movie, and I remember running around the streets of New York in tights saying, ‘This could be the last movie I ever make,’ and I could never have predicted that it’d become such a popular film.” – Will Ferrell

42. “For me, I think everybody with half a heart tries to do their best to do their part of good during the holiday season.” – Darren Criss

43. “I’m a minimalist. I don’t really need much to enjoy a good holiday – just my family and the bare essentials.” – Jean Reno

44. “The concept of doing holiday episodes is a huge part of what’s fantastic about doing TV. And viewers agree; you see the numbers going up for holiday episodes.” – Dan Harmon

45. “I love the atmosphere at the mall – everything about Christmas. I don’t think anything specific gets me in the holiday spirit except for the holidays themselves.” – Drake Bell

46. “My Christmases have always just been very simple and about family.” – Julie Roberts

47. “You have to remind kids to stay connected to the meaning of Christmas. Sometimes it takes a little bit of effort, but it’s so worth it.” – Caroline Kennedy

48. “The two most joyous times of the year are Christmas morning and the end of school.” – Alice Cooper

49. “One thing I love about Christmas music is that it has a tradition of warmth.” – Zooey Deschanel

50. “Why not share with the world the way it is and tell them my feelings about my cat, and how I played with my kids, and how addicted to Christmas time I am, and the smell of pine needles and hearing my kids laugh.” – Steven Tyler