What Do You Really Want?

Embracing the shiny – and tarnished – parts of me makes me more in love with who I am in this moment, who I was in the past, and who I will be tomorrow.

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Tell me, darling: What do you want? No. I’m not talking about unlimited books, a trip to Paris, a perfect relationship or a killer wardrobe that fits your (now) size 4 svelte body.

I’m asking you what your heart most desires so that your soul can soar.

Don’t get me wrong. There’s not a damned thing wrong with going to Paris, having an endless supply of books, being thin with a lovely wardrobe, and being in a loving relationship. There are times when I have wanted all those things.

The thing is, having any one – or all – of those things doesn’t automatically make life perfect. Eventually, you’ll get tired of the perfect man and reading books in Paris cafés. Because no matter where you go and who you are with – there you are.

You need to learn about your wants. Not just the surface desires for physical things – and the roles society expects you to play. If you don’t gain clarity around your deepest desires, then everything that is, on the surface, perfect, won’t feel that way.

There is no magic pill — no magic place — no magic person — that will “fix” things for you.

In fact, let me be clear: you are not broken and do not need to be fixed. You just need to gain clarity around what you most want in life.

Maybe you’re like me: you’re just a little tarnished.

Sure, you’ve made your mistakes, but the emotional baggage, battle scars, grey hairs, and laugh lines are a part of your hero’s journey. I know that they have been part of mine.

Know what clears away tarnish? Polish.

And to be frank with you, I kind of like that patina of the tarnish on me. I wear it well. In fact, I’ve earned it.

Embracing the shiny – and tarnished – parts of me makes me more in love with who I am in this moment, who I was in the past, and who I will be tomorrow.

Look. I know within the deepest recesses of my soul that you desire and deserve to be happy. You deserve to be the most playful, sassy, and sexy version of you.

To dig around and uncover that, you just may need a little help.

Let me help you. Let me hand you a cloth and some polish and help you discover the shine that gleams beneath the layers of life.

I’m a big believer that being asked the right questions is the beginning to moving yourself along in the right direction.

And by right direction, it’s not one that anyone chooses but you.

Only you can define what happy looks like to you. Only you can define what satisfaction feels like.

I know that this is scary territory for some. I cannot tell you the umpteen times that I have sat across the table from (or at the other end of the phone) from someone who realized they were afraid of the answers even more than of the questions. Change is scary for all of us.

But time, and time again, I have also witnessed the discovery of that one elegant idea or pivotal question that sparked that first step to begin living life fully.

Let me assure you, darling. I have faith in you.

Faith that you can find your heart’s desires. That you can be happy. That you can feel joyful and satisfied and proud. Faith that you can discover the answers that are right there inside you. Answers that will guide you beyond the pain, the numbness, and the fear of simply existing.

It starts with facing the simple question of “What do I want?” And answering it with truth.

Discover who you really are – and what you really desire. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

This post originated on Attract the One.


About the author

Debra Smouse

Debra Smouse is a self-admitted Tarnished Southern Belle, author and life coach.