Darren Johnson

The ticking time bomb is the most overused, shopworn element of the action movie genre (with Nic Cage running a close second).

Rabbit Ear Removal: In any group shot some clown always pulls the old “rabbit ears” gag, by placing his fingers in a V behind someone else’s head. This nifty function isolates the offending digits and with a little automatic Photoshop-style erasing – Presto! The “rabbit” disappears!

During this excruciating exchange, he swipes the card the wrong way three times, enters an invalid PIN twice and presses CANCEL instead of OK.

A woman named Felony might have to put up with sleaze-ball pick-up lines about “arresting beauty” or “so good-lookin’ it should be against the law,” but a face-full of apple-tini and a Prada pump in the groin will shut them up quick.