You spend most of the day dealing with a bunch of different assholes.
These same assholes are all full of shit.
You have to listen to a lot of pissing and moaning, too.
When you’re not doing your job you get reamed.
We all attract the worst types: those looking for a hit and run, those that stick around too long, and those that dump all over you, turn you into a big mess and leave you behind.
On the other hand, a large number of people are uncomfortable with you, and avoid you at all costs.
Women know how to sit down and take care of business.
Men just stand around with their dick in their hands.
You can tell a lot about a person by the crap that comes out of them.
After too many drinks at the bar, the girl or guy who wouldn’t get near you earlier will be down on their knees, hugging you.
Sometimes you get so backed-up you can’t even function.
When you’re struggling with some serious shit that can’t be flushed away, it might be time to get professional help.
If it all gets to be too much and you overflow and everything comes pouring out, people get disgusted and head for the nearest exit.
As we get older, our pipes start to clog, our valves fail, we can’t stop leaking and we need new parts to keep going.
