8 Things You Should Quit Doing If You Don’t Want To Date Me

1. If you don’t want to date me, quit with the witty banter. Every sex-laced syllable bounces back and forth inside my imagination long after you placed the final period in your latest sentence. Charming stanzas and flirtatious remarks and magnetic undertones strip my defenses, brick by brick.

2. If you don’t want to date me, stop calling me beautiful. Cute is reserved for kittens and pretty is reserved for another woman and adorable is reserved for my best friend. But beautiful. Beautiful is reserved for your future girlfriend, who’s figure is all you can see.

3. If you don’t want to date me, quit making me laugh. When I’m crying you provide a giggle and when I’m exhausted you provide a roar and when I’m breaking you crack me up until I realize, underneath every radiating chuckle is you.

4. If you don’t want to date me, stop being supportive. Every steadfast belief you have in my capabilities fortifies a foundation as unwavering as your opinion. My exhaustion ends with every breath of your certainty. My dreams seem closer when you cheer on my reach and I begin to believe your voice will never falter.

5. If you don’t want to date me, quit the cuddling. Stop hanging your fingertips with my hair and whispering kisses on my neck and tracing my figure eight with your hands. With every touch you leave footprints on my spine and I’m left wanting, needing, having to stand next to you.

6. If you don’t want to date me, stop charming my friends. Your dating resume should be bleeding with their criticisms and corrections, not shinning with gold stars and approval stamps. Every inquiry they make and endorsement they dish and affirmation they give solidifies my longing for you.

7. If you don’t want to date me, stop the kissing. Feel me up and lick me down and fuck the rest, but don’t stain my mouth with your craving chapstick. Every soft press of your lips tattoos desirous yearning on the inside of my cheek.

8. If you don’t want to date me, quit being accessible. You seem to have the answer to every question, the calm to every storm, and the availability for every calendar. Every time I’m left to rely on you, you’re able, and I find myself finally understanding the world “reliable”.

Because, one day, you will quit it all.

And I’ll be left wondering why you wanted to date me.