Daniel Hayes

Kim Davis, who opposes gay marriage, committed adultery, divorced three times, and had kids out of wedlock.

“Given the number of dudes I’ve seen without their shirts on I’d vote twice for that law if I could. Most guy’s chests are offenses against nature.”

“That he bought an engagement ring after we’d only been dating for a month and a half.”

Last night three millionaires crafted a bit of racial theater for the masses. It went over exactly as planned.

“I’m probably the only person I know of that keeps in contact with their exes just to know they’re okay.”

1. The Sunlight Diet

“There’s two categories of things that I keep, the really good and the really bad.”

“This is going to sound crude but when I first met my current girlfriend of two years I thought to myself ‘this girl is DTF.’ Turns out she was.”

“I was at a house party, and they were playing baby got back and the guy goes ‘is this your theme song?'”

“If you’re trying too hard at the beginning it’s not going to get easier as you go on. Great loves, like many of the best things, are simple.”

“Hmm, what email address should I use to cheat on my wife? I know, my work email which will absolutely tie me to this misdeed should it ever get out. Great idea!”

“There’s this idea that we have to play hard to get and we don’t want to be that ‘clingy’ girlfriend. It’s frustrating. But it’s a hard taboo to get over.”