14 Men And Women Reveal Their Self-Imposed Dating Rules, Pet Peeves, And Deal Breakers

1. “If we go on a date and he waits three days to call me back then I know he’s a tool. I’m well aware of the ‘guy rule’ that says to wait three days or risk seeming too eager. I’m not into people who want to play it cool. I’m into people who know what they want and aren’t afraid of rejection.”

—Jamie, 24

2. “If go out to eat and she Instagrams any portion of our meal then that’s a no go for me. I think it’s one of the rudest things my generation does and that whole ‘my followers will love this’ lifestyle just isn’t something I’m interested it. It all just seems really juvenile.”

—Bryan, 26

3. “If I have a good time at all then I always kiss on the first date. I don’t fuck on the first date, I kiss on the first date. Kissing compatibility is like the number one physical thing I care about because that’s what gets me in the mood. If he’s a bad kisser or there’s just nothing there then I want to know that early, especially if I enjoyed spending time with him.”

—Denise, 22

4. “Being asked out on a date over Facebook messenger or, God forbid, on my freaking wall is a nuclear no go zone for me. I’ve seen dudes do this and then they’re always surprised when my friends are like ‘lol, no, bye.’ It’s the wimpiest way you could possibly ask them out, even worse than texting because at least with texting they presumably worked up the courage to ask you for your number at some point.”

—Danielle, 21

5. “I’ve got a serious pet peeve about people who order food in restaurants and then have a laundry list of special requests from the kitchen that go way beyond just asking for the dressing on the side. I’ve legit been on dates with chicks who basically order one thing on the menu and then by the time they’re done with their special requests they’ve completely changed the dish into something that’s not on the menu.

Be considerate to service workers and cooks. They have better things to do than make you a whole new dish from scratch based on your tastes. One special request, max!”

—David, 20

6. “Shower before you come and meet me for our date. If you’re coming from the gym because you want an excuse to wear a tank top in front of me and look all pumped then you’re doing it wrong. I’m not interested in that, dude. If I was then I’d just be asking guys out at my gym.”

—Sylvia, 26

7. “Getting drunk on a first date. You’ve got a problem, we both know it. I want no part of your problem but thank you for showing it to me immediately.”

—Talia, 25

8. “If we have not had sex then doing sex talk in the middle of our normal date conversation or implying anything about your genitals is a deal breaker. I have a strict ‘no sex talk at dinner’ rule because it’s fucking gross, presumptuous, and tone deaf.”

—Olivia, 24

9. “Girls who are rude to the wait staff at restaurants, movie theaters, and coffee shops suck and should be flogged publicly in the middle of the restaurant/movie theater/coffee shop for the enjoyment of the employees.”

—Jackson, 27

10. “People who leave their phones on the table on the first date are looking for a way out or they’re bored. Either way, I’m happy to let them have their phone swiping time back. Rude people seem to not even know they’re rude anymore.”

—Alvin, 28

11. “I once went on a second date with a guy who was really sweet on the first date. The second date he’d apparently gone insane or something because he talked really loud at the waiting staff and even yelled back into the kitchen for a refill at one point. But the worst was that he tried to order for me because, he said, ‘I come here all the time and I know what’s best.’ No thanks man, what did you do with that guy from last week that I liked?”

—Mary, 25

12. “I can’t be the only one but I hate goatees. I HATE them. I will never date a man with a goatee. It’s the mullet of the facial hair world.”

—Chrissy, 24

13. “This only happened to me one time but please don’t order the most expensive thing on the menu on a first date. I am far too nice and hopeful to say anything and most guys I know won’t jump in and protest because they don’t want to seem cheap. At the same time, most guys my age don’t have a lot of cash so please be considerate if you’re expecting not to go Dutch.”

—Morgan, 21

14. “People who say ‘I had a great time, call me’ and then when you call them they never answer or text back or whatever. We just met, you don’t have to ghost me and make me feel stupid. Just say ‘thanks for evening but I don’t think we’re compatible, best of luck’. That’s what I do. I think we’d all be happier if everyone did that.”

—Joseph, 24