Crissy Milazzo

The kid who: organized M.A.S.H rounds and knew everyone’s crushes, so they set it up so that M.A.S.H was as embarrassing as possible.

Is now the adult who: holds Bachelor viewing parties at their house.

16. Does it curve?

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7. Pretty: Comely, Dreamy

You learn how important it is to say “yes!” and “…um, no.”

’15 Bonnie & Clyde

“If you never take it seriously you never get hurt, if you never get hurt you always have fun, and if you ever get lonely just go to the record store and visit your friends.”

I’m not naive enough to believe that you’d be proud of all my choices, but I know that you saved my life with your careful (and sometimes intense) warnings.

“Wear a blanket constantly.”

Early 20s: SHOTS SHOT SHOTS SHA SHA SHA SHOT SHOTS SHOTS EVERYBODDDDDDY SH—
Late 20s: ….Shots?

“Where are my keys?”

People will judge you for everything you do.

People refer to you as being “chill”

1. You’re constantly being told to chill.

I will always be proud to be from New Jersey. It’s a gritty state with character that no one sees until they, well, see it: we’ve got green hills, expansive fields, beautiful little twinkling cities and towns, bleak streets that will make you better, and, of course, a highly underrated shore thought by the rest […]

Did your Aunt *really* die this semester?

“Is my vagina pretty?”

Honestly? Most fights end in a reconciliation that includes ordering takeout.