The 13 Wittiest Literary Lines You’ll Ever Read

“To lose one parent may be regarded as a misfortune; to lose both looks like carelessness” — Oscar Wilde, The Importance of Being Earnest

“You can lead a horticulture, but you can’t make her think.” — Dorothy Parker, The Collected Dorothy Parker

“It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife.” – Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice

“If not actually disgruntled, he was far from being gruntled.” – P.G. Wodehouse, The Code of the Woosters

“All this fuss about sleeping together. For physical pleasure I’d sooner go to my dentist any day” — Evelyn Waugh, Vile Bodies

“And she’s got brains enough for two, which is the exact quantity the girl who marries you will need.” — P.G. Wodehouse, Mostly Sally

7. “I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don’t know the answer” — Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy

“This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force.” — Dorothy Parker, The Algonquin Wits

“I don’t deserve any credit for turning the other cheek as my tongue is always in it.” — Flannery O’Connor, The Habit of Being: Letters of Flannery O’Connor

“I learned long ago, never to wrestle with a pig. You get dirty, and besides, the pig likes it.” — George Bernard Shaw

“The youth of America is their oldest tradition. It has been going on now for three hundred years.” — Oscar Wilde, A Woman of No Importance

“If you aren’t in over your head, how do you know how tall you are?” — T.S. Eliot

“Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence in society.” — Mark Twain, More Maxims of Mark