25 Things Liberal Arts Students Hate Hearing

1. “Customers with similar purchase histories also bought Tucker Max’s I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell.”

2. “Math is going to be a big part of this job.”

3. “Thank you for tuning in to PBS — this is pledge week.”

4. “Where’s your school spirit?”

5. “We can’t accept this novel pitch. You just put your name and wrote ‘it will be an in-depth exploration of lost youth.’”

6. “I’m not sure Foucault is relevant to this situation.”

7. “We don’t keep Parliaments or Lucky Strikes in stock anymore.”

8. “Don’t overthink it.”

9. “Philosophy just isn’t all that important to me.”

10. “Please don’t try to write this paper overnight.”

11. “We’re out of wine.”

12. “You could always go to law school!”

13. “And that means you’ll be going first when we come back on Double Jeopardy.”

14. “Unpaid internships don’t pay for rent and groceries.”

15. “What’s the name of your school again? I don’t think I’ve heard of it.”

16. “Most of Brooklyn is actually really expensive.”

17. “Doesn’t reading bore you?”

18. “So what exactly are you going to do with that degree in, what was it again, the anthropological social analysis of endangered peoples between the two World Wars as mediated by the Greek classics?”

19. “Whole Foods will be closing early today.”

20. “The literature club will no longer be meeting.”

21. “The bar is closing.”

22. “Becoming a starving artist is not glamorous — you’re starving, remember?”

23. “Don’t you think the classics are overrated?”

24. “Critical thinking isn’t a marketable skill.”

25. “Your graduate applications are due tomorrow.”