Let It Hurt, Then Let It Go

They say,

Let it hurt then let it go.

I think you should know… I never let it go.

So free, but always running.

Restricted those lies to myself.

Pulled back the curtains and allowed sunlight in,

only to close them once more.

I cannot remain true to myself while constantly pretending I was alright.

I cannot remain true to myself while pretending it didn’t cut me up like knives.

I pulled the dagger out from behind me, but I cannot complain when I run headfirst into it.

I owe no apologies for these self-inflicted wounds.

I take full responsibility for the pain I have caused myself.

I repent and I invent,

I’m shedding everything I thought I once knew, because I cannot remain in the pain of being stagnant any longer.

They say,

Let it hurt

Then let it go.

Here I am being casted away pretending we never meant a thing.

We went from auburn colors to a faded black.

Colors so dark I wasn’t even sure how we mixed so brightly in the first place.

Let it hurt, Let it go

Though I’ll have you know, I’m not sure I ever let the pain consume me.

When things ended, I felt nothing.

I’ve become so numb to your tears and so dull to my fears I wonder if I still even have these emotions left inside me.

The pain I caused you, I feel sorrow for.

These regrets that consume me are slowly catching up.

I’ve been traveling and I’m obsessed with the beauty of the world.

I’ve been traveling and I’m obsessed with running away.

What am I running from?

Who am I running to?

Because doing this alone, I was starting to resonate on the thought of missing you.

I guess I never listened.

I never let it hurt,

So I still have yet to let this go.