Christopher Hudspeth

“You know what sucks about getting older? Your friends have known you for way too long. They’ve got too much on you. “

4. The thought of putting pants on.

Complaining that a dead movie star isn’t worthy of a massive response from fans and comparing it to the death of a starving child or a soldier is beyond pointless.

You have a sneaking suspicion that one of the biggest reasons they’re still dating you is because they aren’t ready to part ways with your pet.

1. Mystery shoppers give retail workers trust issues for life.

He is not texting back. Do you think he is waiting for something or busy or what?!

Her name was Marie. That’s all I knew at first.

1. Incoming Calls From ‘Restricted’ or ‘Blocked’ phone numbers.

You have cynical jokes and snarky remarks that it’s killing you inside to hold off on saying, but you must wait until you have a better feel for whom you can get away with saying what to.

2. My phone is probably broken or service is messed up and that’s why I haven’t heard from anybody in a while.

These recommendations are for the weekend: Friday November 8, 2013 thru Sunday November 10, 2013.

These people live in isolation on a farm of misery, growing intolerable crops as they squeeze haterade from their cows’ teats and mix marijuana into bales of hay so they can ride around on their high horses.