Christopher Hudspeth

Who is responsible for making the first move?

There are everyday occurrences that aren’t a big deal and most people seem to handle them gracefully, but my worrisome, cynical imagination doesn’t allow me to do that and I’m hoping there are others out there who can relate to and share this pain.

These recommendations are for the weekend: Friday December 20, 2013 thru Sunday December 22, 2013.

Friend language = Laidback sarcasm.

We can dig deeper and try to get to the bottom of why we lose self-control upon entering a Target, or we can just accept the red & khaki wizard regime’s mysterious abilities to make us disregard shopping lists and toss things in our carts with reckless abandon.

Avoid getting stuck in a foggy place. If you’re involved with a dude, don’t allow yourself to take part in a label-less, casual, uncommitted connection if that’s not what you want.

“You know what sucks about getting older? Your friends have known you for way too long. They’ve got too much on you. “

4. The thought of putting pants on.

Complaining that a dead movie star isn’t worthy of a massive response from fans and comparing it to the death of a starving child or a soldier is beyond pointless.

You have a sneaking suspicion that one of the biggest reasons they’re still dating you is because they aren’t ready to part ways with your pet.

1. Mystery shoppers give retail workers trust issues for life.

He is not texting back. Do you think he is waiting for something or busy or what?!

Her name was Marie. That’s all I knew at first.

1. Incoming Calls From ‘Restricted’ or ‘Blocked’ phone numbers.

You have cynical jokes and snarky remarks that it’s killing you inside to hold off on saying, but you must wait until you have a better feel for whom you can get away with saying what to.

2. My phone is probably broken or service is messed up and that’s why I haven’t heard from anybody in a while.

These recommendations are for the weekend: Friday November 8, 2013 thru Sunday November 10, 2013.

These people live in isolation on a farm of misery, growing intolerable crops as they squeeze haterade from their cows’ teats and mix marijuana into bales of hay so they can ride around on their high horses.