21 Exercises And What They Should Actually Be Called
1. Squats: Real Life Photoshop Effects For Your Butt.
2. Crunches: Do Like 100 Of These And Check For A Six-Pack Immediately After.
3. Push-Ups: Workout Like You’re In A Movie Montage.
4. Pull-Ups: Go Ahead, Ask Me! C’mon, I Know You Want To! Oh, You’re Going To Be Shy About It? Well, I’ll Just Come Right Out And Say It: YES, I Do Crossfit, Let Me Tell You More About It.
5. Bench Press: This Is Going To Look Magnificent On Instagram And Everyone Will Know I’m In The #Gym
6. Dumbbell Curls/Concentration Curls: Not Everyone Who Does These Is A Frat Bro, But Everyone Who Is A Frat Bro Does These
7. Running On The Treadmill: Boredom While Watching Basic Cable With Closed Captions.
8. Running Outdoors: Boredom While Watching Nature.
9. Sprints: Not Worth It Unless There Are NFL Scouts Watching You.
10. Yoga: Oh Hey Whoa This Is Way Harder Than It Looks That’s What She Said.
11. Elliptical: How TF Have I Only Burned 14 Calories?
12. Lunges: Hurts So Good In The Moment, But The Soreness Tomorrow Will Be Ten Times Worse.
13. Jumping Jacks: Grade School P.E.
14. Bicycling: Getting In The Way Of Automobile Drivers And Pedestrians.
15. Stationary Bicycling: How Much Work Is This Really If I Could Easily Eat And Text While Doing It?
16. Box Jumps: Hmm, Wouldn’t it Be Easier To Just Not?
17. Walking: Cardio For Nanas.
18. Tire Flipping: Haha Chill Out
19. Deadlift: Make Loud Noises That Sound Like A Climaxing Dragon So Everyone Knows You’re There And Sees How Strong You’re Being.
20. Anything Involving Medicine Balls: Rich Celebrity Getting In Shape With A Personal Trainer Because They Have Lots Of Money & Time To Do These Fancy Exercises.
21. Stairmaster: 1 Minute In Real Time = 45 Minutes On This. 
