11 Things That Are Trying To Ruin Being An Adult (And Their Success On A Scale Of 1-10)
Mandatory things that require pants and waking up before 9am.
Whether a meeting, a class, or a shift at work, stuff happening before 9am isn’t ever fun. It’s not like there’s mandatory breakfast in your underwear happening. No, it’s typically about wearing pants that aren’t particularly comfortable to some thing that requires you to use your brain and/or body efficiently. Gross. RATING: 9am/10
Any birthday after 21.
Legally you can buy cigs if you want, you can drink alcohol if you want, you can lose your money in a casino if you want, but after that, aside from car rental, there’s no way to spin creeping another year towards inescapable death into a positive. RATING: 8/10
Bills.
Just when you think you’ve accumulated a satisfying amount of money, in swoop bills to drain that bank account balance. Electricity, water, phone, rent, they ALL want a chunk, and you have to give it to them because amenities. RATING: $10/10
Slower Metabolism.
Shout out to metabolisms for just completely phoning it in at some point during your 20s. Late night fast food and skipping the gym no longer come with out physical punishment. RATING: 6lbs/10
People not caring about your unhappiness.
I mean, sure, if you’re a mess friends and family will be concerned, but we’re talking general whininess here. When you had a bad day as a kid, it seemed like you could cry or be visibly mopey and grownups would rush from every direction as if you were a 50-inch TV on Black Friday, full of care and comfort. RATING: 7/10
Longer, more miserable hangovers.
You can no longer party aggressively, then simply wake up, cram a breakfast burrito down your face hole, drink a Gatorade and be healed. Now you’re looking at 24-48 hour recovery times, folks. RATING: 5/10
Not being able to use youth as an excuse.
Don’t you miss being able to blame mishaps and flat out inexcusable actions on youth? Like, hey, I did a terrible thing but I’m still fairly new here on earth. No longer. Now it’s all on you, pal. Also, the punishment for particular mistakes isn’t timeouts or suspensions – it’s tickets, fines, getting fired, or perhaps even… going to jail. RATING: five to ten/10
Christmas after the age of 18.
It’s less about receiving gifts and more about going out amongst the masses to shop, and spend money on things you’ll give to others. Not to mention having to wrap, which tests patience and hand steadiness. One adult Christmas consists of more wrapping than the first 18 Christmases of your life featured. Ugh, but it is nice making other people happy or whatever, I guess. RATING: 3/10
Giving up on your dreams.
It’s your own fault if you do this, quitter. Unless your dream was time sensitive, like be the youngest astronaut or whatever, in which case, that just sucks. RATING: 0/10 (~ K e E p T r Y i N g ~)
Pimples still being a thing.
What the frick is your problem, acne? I thought we had an agreement to part ways when the teens ended? Any blemish, whether alone or with friends in a breakout, isn’t welcome on an adult face. This is like being under the impression that you get a trust fund of clear skin when you turn 20, but the trust fund just turns out to be a $25 Chili’s gift card. RATING: 8/10
Being stressed about money.
This $ucks, but it happens to the majority of us, sometimes more dramatically than others. The sad reality is that if we had an abundance of money, the majority of us would be doing entirely different things, and a lot less worried in our daily lives. RATING: 10/10
