Chrissy Stockton

What women REALLY want in a man.

Not only do they not intervene, as everyone else has done, they seem supremely jealous that they aren’t able to participate. Great job, guys.

I’ve never read anything about the digital age that has put me off believing the internet is the BFF of humanity, but this one might do it.

There are so many topics that are intellectually interesting and worthy of conversation but you can’t talk about them because people’s instantaneous backlash is “of course we know what the answer to this is, how dare you even ask?”

2. It’s so warm in your bed, and so cold in the rest of your house.

Ask “is it in yet?”

“Have you ever tried sliding down a water slide without water? It hurts.”

What happened guys? You used to be cool.

It took about a year to get the iconic shot in where blood pours out of the elevator in The Shining.

Stripped on a pool table while three guys watched and stuffed money in my underwear. I’m not a stripper I just did it for fun.

You can guard your heart and not get hurt again, or you can be vulnerable and experience love. You cannot do both, so you have a choice to make.

A man named William Morgan was rejected from the masons in the 1800s. He pitched and received a large advance to then publish a book revealing their secrets. He disappeared and was never seen or heard from again.

It’s an abandoned drainage sewer, but inside the network of tunnels there are supposed to be ancient, cult ritual markings all over.

A biologist, a chemist, and a statistician are out hunting. The biologist shoots at a deer and misses 5ft to the left, the chemist takes a shot and misses 5ft to the right, the statistician yells “We got ’em!”

Betsy Ross had girls sleep with enemies during the revolutionary war to gain intel. (Pretty much ran a brothel).

The best (er… worst?) of religious people on Facebook.

Fat shaming is difficult because there’s no argument against it.

“I just spent an hour lying on my bed watching Jimmy Fallon videos and licking grated carrot out of a bowl.”