Chrissy Stockton

I try their answers on for size, which inevitably do not fit, but give me perspective on what would.

Can orphans eat at a family restaurant?

You have a voodoo doll named ‘Raiser’s Edge.’

I feel SO empowered right now.

We kill animals for reasons other than self-preservation all the time. What’s the difference with this situation?

I’ve heard about people like Alice Munro, Amy Tan, and Malcolm Gladwell but they’ve never been high enough on my “to read” list for me to set aside a few hours and read one of their books. Reading their short stories online feels like a cheat code.

When inviting a Minnesotan over for dinner, it’s common practice for them to refuse twice, to test out whether you are “just being nice” or are genuinely interested in their company.

So I began to think maybe it was true that when you were married and had children it was like being brainwashed, and afterward you went about as numb as a slave in some private, totalitarian state.

“Jesus was perfect and he only had 12 friends.”

We pretended these famous thinkers were Shibes.

If you bite into an apple expecting it to taste like an orange, you are going to be unhappy. This does not reflect the quality of the apple, it reflects your dumbass assumptions.

Yep. This is happening.

Holy crap.

“Hey man, don’t come. I was just going to rob you, but I heard some kids in the background when we were talking on the phone.”

That can’t be THE Allie Teilz?

SVU is the foundation upon which binge watching has been built.

“When I woke up i looked outside and she was gone, but the word “soon” was scratched weakly into the door.”

Potential for big money.