Chrissy Stockton

Yes, we sync up. I prefer to think of it like a super power/Captain Planet situation.

“I had no idea my girlfriend would get this much attention and it makes me feel like crap.”

They hold women to standards.

If you’re speeding and see a cop, wave.

You don’t have to have everything figured out, and you don’t have to have perfect outcomes, you just have to feel good about the process.

Quoting Marilyn Monroe. Specifically, “If you can’t handle me at my worst, you don’t deserve me at my best.”

No one can “make” you anxious or “give” you anxiety.

“I was a friend-zoned fedora wearer.”

“He didn’t know who Anne Frank was.”

When the police asked for a description of the man, Bob insisted he was wearing a white suit with long bunny ears.

Do not google micropenis.

You’ve always respected women. If your mom could do everything, why can’t any other woman?

The confidence to say “thanks but no thanks” to every guy who offers up a dating option that benefits him more than it benefits you.

1. Do something naked.

They would never, ever, let your birthday pass without making a big deal out of it. Even if you offer up a humble “I don’t really feel like making a big deal about it this year.”

They appreciate you endlessly for your ability to say, “you’re overthinking it, you don’t have to worry about it.”

Your best friend is the person you can confess your deepest fear to as well as your second deepest fear: that the population at large will discover the thing you fear most is accidentally hitting ‘like’ when you are a year and a half deep into your crush’s Instagram.

3. You aren’t a yes man.