Chrissy Stockton

“All I could see was this amorphous blackness walking up the stairs.”

The self-confidence to say “no.”

I was a youth leader at a christian youth camp. It was during a worship session.

He looked at me very seriously and said “There’s someone in your apartment, wake up.”

“Happy wife, happy life.”

You don’t play the “I’m so awkward!” or “I’m such a mess, isn’t it cute?” game.

“Mommy, how old are you?” “32.” “Oh. That’s a good age to die, I suppose.”

“Because I thought I was bored. Because I thought there might be something better. Because I thought I could get away with it.

Flavored yogurts.

They may be a tad overcompetitive (okay extremely overcompetitive).

People will kill you over time, and how they’ll kill you is with tiny, harmless phrases, like “be realistic”.

Women never gave me a hard time, anyway, it was only boring old men.

You’re supposed to pull my chair out, hold the door open for me, pay for me and be nice to me no matter what. While treating me like an equal.

Men are the weaker sex because they need women to cover their bodies just to be able to see them as human.

A good boyfriend always passes the gut test.

“Very thin lips, just not in to them.”

“My real mom and dad were killed when the bad men came.”

“He also showed the elders where the murder weapon was found, and upon digging, they did indeed found an axe there.”