Chrissy Stockton

“They want a movie version of love.”

We get a bad rap, but basic bitches aren’t so bad.

When you have a dinner party, there’s no better guest to invite if you want to hear stories about other people’s stupidity.

I “saw” in my mind’s eye that I was going to get hit by a car.

“We’ve known each other forever.”

He went from house to house jiggling the door knobs. If the door was locked, he left.

You can always identify one because they have the most comfortable beds of anyone you know. Indulge us in our need to be cozy.

The true test of feeling like an actual adult is being able to host some of your friends for dinner in your home. A playlist is crucial in ensuring a success.

Passive aggressive people LOVE communicating through notes, it’s the perfect way for them to let off steam and aggressively “put you in your place” while avoiding the conflict altogether.

“She always listened when I talked about my day instead of having that glazed over look.”

Enjoy the delicious aroma now filling your home.

When you find yourself enjoying something like cooking you start to wonder if it means you’re weak or a bad feminist. You have to question every natural desire you have and wonder if you truly enjoy the thing or if you are just conditioned to like it.

He dates “bad girls.”

Being sexually attractive to all men at all times.

Did anyone try this product out before they shipped it out? It leaves an extremely faint bit of color/shimmer behind it, but that’s it.

To this day Annabelle lives in the occult museum. Her locked case is “holy water encrusted.”

And then I said, OMG LOOK AT WHAT JUST CAME OUT OF ME.

A bath product that is deemed “too fancy” to use. It will be stored in the cupboard or displayed somewhere until the end of time.