Chrissy Stockton

“I think that’s just a thing you say before you meet the right girl. It was for me anyway.”

Why are these kids so creepy???

It’s lonelier to be the guy who can’t accept love, than to be the girl who tries and fails.

I would always feel someone in bed with me or hear a child’s voice. Years later they found a child’s body buried under my house.

We get it, you’re perfect.

Rum drinkers make the most low-maintenance girlfriends.

Leo: a support group for people who feel unappreciated if they receive less than five compliments a day.

Geminis want to be overwhelmed with passion. It doesn’t even really matter if you’re skilled at what you’re doing, as long as you act like you’re really into it you’ll blow them away.

Here are seven of my favorite true crime writeups from The Lineup.

It’s hard to argue that Scorpios are the best lay in the Zodiac.

“I don’t do well flirting in front of my friends, I just feel weird. I’ve had girls approach me in bars while out in my group, and I just kind of ignore them.”

“I started finding more women attractive.”

Till death do us part.

Cancer: smother you with a pillow and then live with your taxidermied body for years like in ‘Psycho’.

You are more likely to be infected by flesh-eating bacteria than you are to be struck by lightning.

People continue to go missing around town, and your neighbor has put out the most realistic Halloween decorations you’ve ever seen.

What accomplishment are you most proud of?

“Are they creative? Are they boring? Sensual? Playful? I love discovering who they are.”