Chrissy Stockton

Your online dating profile says you like to engage in “witty banter” which no one who is actually witty has said. Ever.

I think having the right D in your V is what most people spend their lives trying to do, to put life into really vulgar terms.

Scientists are the most beautiful when they are talking about the limitations of science. You can never do an experiment as many times as there are possible outcomes. This is why the scientific method produces theories, not facts. You can’t be an atheist because I’d respect you more if you had a wrong hypothesis than a wrong life-altering metafact.

Are there ghosts? Are there aliens? Could Jurassic Park really happen? Why or why not? Do you sometimes LOL at Bill O’Reilly or does he make you feel too bleak?

The self-absorbed pursuit of contemplating our lives is unavoidable. As a social generation it’s natural that we turn this consideration outward, documenting our experiences and asking for feedback from our peers. Navel gazing is our modern philosophy because it considers the questions that are important to us in an effort to gain wisdom — even if that wisdom is how to be a better date.